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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 08-11-2014, 09:11 PM
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Default Restraining order versus a bail order

My ex has been charged with assault and there is a bail order in place that addresses no contact for me. There is nothing about the children, like he could go to the school and get the kids etc.. I was wondering can I try to get a restraining order for me and the kids. I already complained to victim services that they never addressed the kids in the bail conditions so I was given two free hours with a lawyer. Really doesn't help me as court is Sept 4. What is a good course of action in this situation
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Old 08-11-2014, 09:45 PM
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Did he assault children?

Did the children witness assault?

Is CAS involved?

What did victim services say when you complained?
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Old 08-12-2014, 08:36 PM
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No assault against the children
Yes our six year old was present
Yes CAS are involved
They gave me a two hour legal aid certificate to get legal advise
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:10 PM
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What did victim services say when you called?

Is he a good father? Has there ever been a threat to abduct your children?

Physical assault is wrong. He's been charged already. Why not ask that he get counselling, anger management, etc?

Good luck with legal aid.

Are you prone to violence also? In another post I read of yours you said

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...tml#post178018

"And because I hit his gf who made a racial slur to me I got arrested too for assault".

In my books assault is wrong for all genders. Man against women. Man against man. Woman against man or ; woman against woman.

Nobody should EVER hit another human being. Not even if a racial slur was made.

Im not saying he's a good guy or he doesn't deserve whatever punishment he gets. He is wrong. Just sounds like you may be prone to violence also.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 08-12-2014 at 09:18 PM.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:19 PM
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I'm thinking something is amiss here.

If CAS had protection concerns and felt that dad should not be around the children they would have implemented those conditions. They haven't. That is key.

If they are involved - what are they involved in exactly?


You are concerned that he can get kids from *school* and bail hearing is 4 September. No school until September anyhow.

What is your specific concern with dad and the children?
Then ask yourself - why doesn't CAS have the same concerns?
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
I'm thinking something is amiss here.

If CAS had protection concerns and felt that dad should not be around the children they would have implemented those conditions. They haven't. That is key.

If they are involved - what are they involved in exactly?


You are concerned that he can get kids from *school* and bail hearing is 4 September. No school until September anyhow.

What is your specific concern with dad and the children?
Then ask yourself - why doesn't CAS have the same concerns?
my radar is up to. She is knocking dad for violence but admits to hitting his gf because of some words??? That makes her no better then the father then. Cant condemn someone using violence when you have used violence yourself.

I think its a case of wanting to cut off the father from the kids and using whatever she can do to get her end result. I really hope I am wrong about this.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
my radar is up to. She is knocking dad for violence but admits to hitting his gf because of some words??? That makes her no better then the father then. Cant condemn someone using violence when you have used violence yourself.

I think its a case of wanting to cut off the father from the kids and using whatever she can do to get her end result. I really hope I am wrong about this.
God I wish there was a "like" button here. Sidelines summed it up here.
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Old 08-12-2014, 09:32 PM
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Good catch with previous thread!

And I'm willing to bet CAS is involved because they both exhibit less than desirable qualities and behaviours for the children.

Geeze, if I took a swing every time my hubby's ex made a disparaging remark i'd have taken at least 1000 swings by now...grow up!

It's easy to call someone out for assault and conveniently miss the part about you also be arrested for assault....yes, those things are easy to forget when you are trying to paint another person in a bad light.
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:25 PM
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Firstly, I thought this was a place to support each other. But you both sound like bitter bitter people. Not sure why your radars are up or why you find it upon yourselves to make assumptions of someone you have never met. If I had anything to hide, I am sure I would have eliminated the fact I hit the gf. CAS has been involved from from separation due to DV. And you don't know the contents of why CAS are involved and what their plans are. I asked a simple question to get advice or alternatives I can use to protect myself from being attacked with a weapon. But this is the wrong atmosphere for that. Its views like this that makes women stay in bad relationships and fearful to say anything. But you both know it all don't you.....
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Old 08-13-2014, 06:27 PM
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You got our simple answers. Our advice and this forum are free.
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