Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-29-2006, 03:28 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
SANDYHYLGRL is on a distinguished road
Default Raw Fear Towards Father

It is so good to find this forum ; and do I need advice; will try to be as brief as possible.
This is the situation: I have an eight year old autistic son, who was always, without exception, extremely close to his father. Our arrangement was such that my ex husband had the primary home , due to the fact that I am fighting still for custody and primary rights and also because I am on the list for housing in our area. My ex has a larger home with a yard that is much more suitable for our boy. I have been taking care of our son an average of three days weekly, and always kept his special routine in check. Here is the problem:
Since approx. late May to mid June this year, my son has been expressing words and actions to me that clearly raise red flags in the concerns of emotional /mental abuse and lack of care. My son is basically shaking, from head to toe, when I prepare his bags to return home from our three days together, crying nonstop, stating from when he arrives in my home for at least two days duratin, "no more dad, stay at moms house, stay in blue house" (the blue house is my building)
He is stating things like "bad boy, no good, behave mister, stop it, stop it" and crying as he does it.

Just recently he has been stating this: "daddy sick, daddy sleeping, get off the floor now!"
MY ex husband, last thursday, ended up in our hospital due to an apparent seizure, and the only way I found this out was because I telephoned that afternoon to see how my son's camp day went. He was in the background crying for me, and I promptly went over to retrieve him. He has been with me since. My ex has requested to the hospital that no info regarding his condition be given to me he went for further tests today and is reassigned to another room. He did not call this evening to update me on his prognosis and treatment assigned. This past w/e I brought my son to the hospital to see him, both days. Both times my son pinned himself literally to me, sitting on me, looking down, stating "no, no" at my encouragement for him to go hug his dad. He is terrified of him but cannot verbally tell me why. This is not the relationship they used to have. I know something happened to my boy while under the man's care but because I am not allowed in his home and my son not being able to communicate I cannot prove anything. I am seeing a lawyer for consult today and am praying for an immediate motion for primary based on his current health. My son is terrified of this man, and I have been approached by people he knows over the weekend and told that he is bringing pot and alcohol into the home and doing this in front of my son. Three of them told me my boy is better off with me but do not want to get involved. It is a very small town and they are afraid of the repercussions involved. Short of seeing this lawyer today I was about to pick up the phone and call CAS, this is how scared I am for my son. I know he is primary right now, but I honestly do not feel I can willingly return my boy to that environment, is is something I feel I cannot do. I am worried for my son's safety , and I do not feel I have a leg to stand on. Any advice would be read and appreciated.

Many thanks.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 08-31-2006, 11:38 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 238
god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
Wink

It sounds like there is no court order in place for your ex to have interm (b/c you said you'e seeing a lawyer now) therefore, if I'm correct on this, you have as much right to have him as the ex. The longer you have your son, the better chance of you getting interm-then custody.
I hope you're documenting everything and if need be, you can court order these people to testify about the drugs and alcohol. If you suspect they won't tell the truth, you could secretly tape a conversation with them and get transcripts---considering your son's mental capabilities, I would assume they'd be admissable.
Get your lawyer to have an order for a children's lawyer to represent and talk to your son.
My heart breaks for your son, to be a helpless child is one thing but to be a mentally disabled child giong through that by himself(at ex's house) without your protection, really hurt.
I would hold onto your son, he needs you.
good luck and give your son a huge hug and kiss and tell him everything's fine.
God Bless
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 08-31-2006, 11:57 PM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
SANDYHYLGRL is on a distinguished road
Red face Thank You

Yes, very valid words on your part. I saw my lawyer, told him everything, have documented every single event since last October when my son started to appear ill and distressed. As for this week; my ex was ordered a second test today, a cat scan; he has not called or updated me; I called the hospital, spoke to several staff who then confirmed to me they were instructed to not even give me info as to if he is still even admitted! That did it for me; This man is obviously hiding something. I don't even know if he is home tonight. Furthermore, I called the house of my ex this morning, and a friend of his answered, who was kind enough to put some clothes together for my boy. So I go in the car with my son to get the clothes. Guess what? It is the same person I was told about who is living there, who is a known coke addict in town. My son was in the back seat buckled in, safe in the car,and he would not look at her, he was shaking from head to toe and crying to the point of actually gasping. He could not leave there quick enough. Now I know something is wrong there, and this did it for me. Friday I go to sign my affidativt and it is presented to the judge next Tuesday. In the meantime he is not going back this weekend. My boy has been laughing and smiling all night in my home, the expression of fear erased from his face. I have asked god for strength and this is where I am getting it. He will give me the right words to say. I am not fearful of handing him back, because he is simply not going back there. I will starve and have my son and peace of mind before I send him back and worry myself sick as to if he is ok over there, which he obviously is not. I do not know of any judge who would return him under these circumstances. And yes, I am requesting a court psychologist for my boy so somebody other than me and my friends, people with power, can see as well there is something very wrong. Further, if I recieve any threats over the w/e I will take it directly to the police and give my lawyer's name. I will never allow him to suffer like this, and as mean as this sounds, I think my ex's seizure is a blessing in disguise, because prior to this, I had no real knowledge of his health state or anything else that was happening there, because my son cannot communicate on a norm level. I will get thru this, seeing my son happy tonite ensures me of that fact. Will let u know.
Blessings,
Sandy
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 09-01-2006, 08:39 AM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 238
god knows the truth will become famous soon enough
Default

good for you-stay strong.
If your ex does not have seizures on a regular basis, then it(they) were probably brought on by substance abuse. Even alcohool can bring on a seizure when used in exces.
I really happy to hear your little guy is smiling and feeling safe with mommy again; it warms my heart--I'm not being mushy, it really does.
Trust in God with all your heart , with all your strength and with all your mind.
God will give you the right words to say, all you have to do is ask---but it seems you have a pretty good grasp on that. God bless
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 09-01-2006, 09:29 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
SANDYHYLGRL is on a distinguished road
Wink Thanks

Thanks Buddy;
We Are Headed Today To Do The Court Order. I Know It Is O.k. Will Let U Know The Outcome. Yes, My Boy Is Full Of Joy This Morning.

Sandy
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2006, 10:12 AM
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 17
SANDYHYLGRL is on a distinguished road
Default Your Not Funny

Are you some kind of idiot, or do you enjoy reading the pain of others?
Re read my post, and don't bother me with your scams of money or how to make a ton of it, as you put it. Some things matter more than money, such as worrying about your child.
Get lost and go to hell.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 11-08-2006, 05:26 PM
Moderator
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 3,944
logicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura aboutlogicalvelocity has a spectacular aura about
Send a message via Yahoo to logicalvelocity
Default

SANDYHYLGRL,

sorry to have you see the spam get through, I have taken measures to moderate same.

lv
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Case Conference Info tycooke Divorce & Family Law 9 07-12-2006 09:11 AM
Medical records? Psych eval? sasha1 Divorce & Family Law 9 05-11-2006 08:40 PM
Allowing children to move with father sweetmama Parenting Issues 8 04-05-2006 07:03 PM
Infant Access and Breastfeeding quake Parenting Issues 31 02-01-2006 05:35 PM
Uplifting Update on my situation CatvsLion Parenting Issues 36 01-15-2006 10:25 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:49 PM.