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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-25-2009, 03:56 PM
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Default Punched, Arrested and Innocent

My buddy is in a bind. He told me that during an arguement with his ex she hit him. He said that he was going to the police. When he arrived there, she had gotten there first, jumped out of her car and ran inside yelling that she was hit. He was arrested and was told that her son saw the whole thing. My friend says her son was no where to be seen.

At any rate, he was arrested at the police station and they didn't even take a statement from him. The officer said "don't even start"

He stayed in jail overnight and is really upset abou the whole thing. He can't eat or sleep and worse...he can't see his daughter.

Questions:

1. Will he have to go to jail if he is found guilty?

2. He wants to take a polygraph (lie detector)...although not admissable in court will it do him any good at all?

3. What will happen to her for lying?

Thanks in advance.
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Old 09-25-2009, 07:42 PM
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He's fooked.
The judges, the police, etc. are forced to believe the wife, not the husband. It's mandated.


FN
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Old 09-26-2009, 01:26 AM
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Not a good position to be in!
The police have a zero tolerance policy in effect regarding accusations of abuse. Your friend is actually guilty until proven innocent in this case.
The police arrest and let the courts deal with the fallout.
It is best to advise your friend to get a good criminal lawyer. Many woman have been known to use false accusations of abuse to further themselves in court and think that this is a great strategy.
Have your friend get some background letters from possibly his doctor, or employer stating that they have known them for a while and that he is a reputable person. Have your freind enter a anger management course BEFORE his court date. And make sure that they don't contact the accuser at any time.
hopefully the judge will see the truth and peace bond him out when it gets to court.
good luck.
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Old 09-26-2009, 08:09 AM
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Great advice by Maggie. You will need all those letters when and if the matter goes to trial. However, I would not suggest attending anger management without speaking with your criminal lawyer first as it might be seen as indirect admission of guilt. To answer your questions:

1. Most likely your case will not go to trial and charges will be dropped. But by the time that happens your ex will have long enough status quo to keep you away from your daughter for ever, if so she wishes.

2. Don't waste on your energies on proving her liar; it will only hurt you emotionally because..

3. There are no consequences to her for lying.

Another thing, if you haven't been allowed access to your children, get a family law lawyer and get them started on family court side as well. Do that as soon as you can. In fact, you can get the criminal lawyer after you receive your disclosure but get the family law lawyer first.

When I am saying "you" or "your" in above, I am really talking to your buddy.
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Old 09-26-2009, 09:52 AM
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I disagree with the above poster on point #3

She can be charged with criminal charges of public mischief, obstruction of police or obstruction of justice. If it gets proved that she lied then anything she says would be taken with a grain of salt. In the courts eyes she would be looked at as a person who is not above lying to get what she wants so the court would not look at her favourably.
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Old 09-26-2009, 01:16 PM
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From my understanding, the accusations of false abuse and physical danger are so widely used right now that the courts are inundated with quasi criminal charges relating to domestic violence issues pertaining to ongoing divorce and separation issues, that the courts and the police have a difficult time following up on "lying" issues.
Even if the crown has proof that the accuser is not being truthful, the system does not have the resources to follow up on mischief and obstruction charges.
A little related note here, it has been discussed openly in our local crimial court that some of our local womens shelters are "persuade" and even "coerse" some of their clients to pursue the abuse avenue with their ex's for signigicant other.
Once the police lay charges, without proof, statements, or even at least physical proof of abuse, the accused has all contact to childdren cut off by the system which in turn puts the accuser in the position to have the status quo factor immediately.
It also put the accused in the hot seat and financially puts them behind the eight ball so that legal assistance on the family side of the coin is harder and more difficult to obtain.
Womens shelters play an important role in providing assistance to the people who really need it, but who monitors the moral and legal aspects behind its walls.
Our system is more screwed up than what most people know think it to be.
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Old 09-26-2009, 01:18 PM
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sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes!!! My head works faster than my fingers!! Have a great day everyone.
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Old 09-26-2009, 04:06 PM
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The opinions are appreciated, thanks.

Does anyone have any insight as to the value (or lack of value) of polygraphs. He is prepared to put out $650 dollars to have this done for himself and another $650 to have her tested, although we doubt she will be willing (he has already found a place in Toronto that does this). On Monday he plans to contact the Crown and make this offer (without going through a lawyer, which he has yet to retain...I think this is a mistake)
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Old 09-26-2009, 05:11 PM
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Your friends best bet is to try and reason with her and get her to recant her story.
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Old 09-26-2009, 07:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieT View Post
sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes!!! My head works faster than my fingers!! Have a great day everyone.
I have those days to. We need a spell checker on the board so we can check before we post.
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