Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 03:35 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default PTSD and Costs for Treatment

This is really difficult for me to post. After decades of emotional, psychological and verbal abuse, and a very severe episode of physical abuse decades ago from my STBX, I finally realize that I'm suffering from symptoms of PTSD, and must seek treatment. It is ruining my life, even though I have been fighting to regain a normal life again.

Just a simple question, and one I plan to ask my lawyer when he returns from his vacation: Is it likely I could recover costs from the treatment? It might cost a lot, maybe $10,000. or more. My STBX would be well able to afford the costs, even if it were many times more.

Please, I don 't want anyone to judge me. I'm asking a simple question and need help, like anyone else here.
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 03:41 PM
arabian's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 9,961
arabian will become famous soon enough
Default

Hope you are successful on your road to recovery. No judgment here.

Many people negotiate extended dental or, as in your case, medical treatment. If you have documentation about your medical condition I don't see why you wouldn't be able to have it considered in your divorce/SS decision.

The fact that your medical condition is likely attributable to your stbx wouldn't necessarily have to be part of your submission. In fact I would specifically not submit it that way. Just a letter from the physician that is currently treating you would suffice.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 04:17 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

I'm wondering though if treatment started after the date of separation would be considered for recovering costs. I know I started having symptoms of the PTSD well before I separated.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 04:43 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

I am thinking that before it would even be considered you would need a diagnosis from a doctor, not self diagnosed. Maybe even a treatment plan.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 04:53 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I am thinking that before it would even be considered you would need a diagnosis from a doctor, not self diagnosed. Maybe even a treatment plan.
Yes. I had planned to have a consultation, diagnosis and treatment plan before starting a course of action for recovery of costs.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 05:00 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Kitchener Ontario
Posts: 5,241
standing on the sidelines is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by caranna View Post
Yes. I had planned to have a consultation, diagnosis and treatment plan before starting a course of action for recovery of costs.
good idea. The only thing I would be really worried against is if your ex finds someway to put his own spin on it and use it against you.

I am not sure if you could recovery costs for treatment but I wish you luck.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 06:23 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 504
frustratedwithex is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

When I was discussing spousal support in mediation and then arbitration, I had to submit a budget of my expenses. Although I had one already, my lawyer forwarded to me a spreadsheet he has his clients fill out.

There was a category for legal fees and one for medical, which included a sub-heading for therapy.

I would discuss it with your lawyer. If you are currently negotiating spousal support you may need to submit a budget and you can list your cost here, no need to indicate the nature of your treatment.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 07:07 PM
hadenough's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,468
hadenough is on a distinguished road
Default

PTSD is normally characterized by Anxiety, and for that reason it is classified as an anxiety disorder. Certainly none of us can or would attempt to diminish your ordeal of a long time marriage to an abusive man.

I have actually wondered if I suffer to some degree from PTSD. Most likely I simply have a lot of anxiety. I imagine extensive therapy/testing is required to determine PTSD as a diagnosis. The problem is, there are many symptoms that cross over with other disorders/affects, ie: depression, insomnia, sensitivity to loud noise, intense irritability, difficulty responding to affection etc.

In the meantime Caranna, I've heard that YOGA is extremely relaxing and can help with anxiety. I have yet to test this (proven) theory out, but it's on my "list." I hope you can connect with a very good therapist who can help you wade through all of the emotions (old and new). It's a lifetime's worth.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 07:50 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 908
caranna is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
good idea. The only thing I would be really worried against is if your ex finds someway to put his own spin on it and use it against you.

I am not sure if you could recovery costs for treatment but I wish you luck.
I don't doubt that he would spin it. I have a lot of experiences with that, especially since separation. Unfortunately there is no evidence I can give that he actually did abuse me those many decades go, as I stayed home for almost 2 weeks, didn't go anywhere because I wanted to hide my face as it was very, very severely bruised and battered.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 03-24-2013, 07:57 PM
hadenough's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 2,468
hadenough is on a distinguished road
Default

There's no marks on my face and I feel pretty beaten up sometimes.

No one will think you have made up any of your experience. It's not like you are seeking criminal charges. Nonetheless - he is a criminal and I'm sure if you could turn back time, you would have reported the abuse and made sure 50 people saw you including the hospital and the police.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:21 PM.