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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 01-17-2014, 11:39 PM
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Perhaps Pokeman will express his issue on this thread.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:52 PM
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In the previous thread Pokeman had stated that the laws, courts and judges are biased. He provided a link to an article which may or may not have been about his personal experience. I invited him to provide his CanLII link (if he has one) to substantiate his perspective on what happened to him.

I think this is an important topic to discuss. Many of us have been on the receiving end of DV but we have heard nary a peep from those who have been charged with a DV. I think it might be insightful to hear from those who have been charged with DV themselves and how it has effected their lives and what they did legally to overcome or how they have moved on with their lives.

Pokeman has many posts. He states that he left an abusive relationship in 2007 (7 yrs ago).

Last edited by arabian; 01-18-2014 at 12:01 AM.
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Old 01-18-2014, 01:30 AM
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I wish Pokemon would comment in here, I can empathize with what he has gone through and hopefully give some useful advice on dealing with his issues.

It is an important topic to discuss - we need to hear from all sides of the equation if legislation is to improve in the future .....
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Old 01-18-2014, 07:33 AM
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Quote:
had stated that the laws, courts and judges are biased.
Errr...are you saying that is not true then?

Quote:
I invited him to provide his CanLII link (if he has one) to substantiate his perspective on what happened to him.
Now Now....I think this is where pokeman might (?) have had some reservations, he felt that is situation was being discredited for some reason, meanwhile another poster's DV situation is not being questioned i.e. being invited to provide anything

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I think this is an important topic to discuss.
It is an important topic, and you should never for a nano second think the issue is only one way

Quote:
I think it might be insightful to hear from those who have been charged with DV themselves and how it has effected their lives and what they did legally to overcome
Well...I could only imagine that being charged with such a thing, is bound to have a great impact on your life in general....i.e. work, relationship, friendship, psychological and emotionally.

A certain poster had mention that "whenever they see a man attacking a woman on TV, they cringe"...rightfully so, nobody should be condoning violence, and I can tell you now that I have personally intervened in a couple of situations like this in real life over the years.

I posted a response to this poster post asking...what happens when it's a woman yelling and throwing things at a man? The poster perhaps didn't think this happens or that it matters

Only Pokeman knows his situation, and the same goes for the other poster....we are just strangers online reading what is being posted, and can't really claim that we know the person(s) and their particular situation, because we weren't there

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fathers try ($$) to get equal access to their children , women are treated differently - no equality will ever be achieved until this changes
Pokeman said this....and I think the reason this is still happening, is because of a number of historically factors: people abandoning their kids, delegation of parental duties, alleged abuse cases etc. This has created an unequal playing field.

In relationships where both parents have been involved, why is it that some women automatically think during a marriage breakdown / when their husband tells them that they no longer want to be with them, that they are the ones that gets the kid(s)? Well, we know it's the emotions, spitefulness/vicious act, and the notion that they systems is already leaning a certain way

I mean there are people that go on and on about their ex' behaviour , all one sided most of the time i.e. they did this, they did that, up to the point that you you can't help but wonder, what is it they might have done to contribute to what sounded like a toxic relationship. It might be a cliche', but it does take two to Tango

Last edited by FWB; 01-18-2014 at 07:55 AM.
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Old 01-18-2014, 08:27 AM
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Either complain and do something about it. And once you have done what needed to be done... Move on. Or don't complain at all to begin with. It's the second category of people that amuse me. Yes, there may be some genuine cases where they really didn't have a choice to get out sooner or took them a long time to realize it was DV. But the majority of the people I have seen like to complain as a self indulgent behavior. Their choice of drug is pity. The more they get it the more they play the victim role and the cycle goes on and on.

However, I do see how courts can be biased towards DV against men but did we all forget high school? Bullying in girls is more toxic and can inflict more emotional harm than a big guy knocking down a meek little boy. Don't you think those girls grow up and become part of the world we live in? I sure hope not all of those women stay as bullies but there's a big chance they still have that streak that can damage the other person inside out.
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:00 AM
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I sure hope not all of those women stay as bullies but there's a big chance they still have that streak that can damage the other person inside out.
Well...that is interesting.
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Old 01-18-2014, 09:19 AM
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FWB ...''I posted a response to this poster post asking...what happens when it's a woman yelling and throwing things at a man? The poster perhaps didn't think this happens or that it matters ''

Actually I didn't bother answering that one as it seemed an attempt at putting words in my mouth - but since you appear unable to grasp the obvious I will answer now. I find DM offensive regardless of who is doing what to whom. It damm well does matter - I have know males who have been abused both physically and mentally by their female spouses. This topic should not be limited to gender issue.
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Old 01-18-2014, 11:55 AM
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pokeman has chosen not to participate in this thread, and thus I feel it is inappropriate to continue.
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