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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 02-08-2010, 12:34 PM
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I don't know if anyone has any experience with these but thought I would ask. My ex was charged with domestic assault and uttering threats causing bodily harm in May of 2008. In late November after completing the Partner Assault Response Program he entered into a 12 month peace bond. The Peace Bond pretty much has the same conditions as the Bail Conditions that he can't attend at my place of residence, business, religious affiliation or school.

If he actually doesn't breach the bond how likely do you think it would be to get another one put in place for another year. He still has access to his 2 kids and he picks up and delivers to and from the day care. He hasn't breached the conditions but there is still a fear of him as the kids are afraid of him, he is still holding a lot of anger and can't even have a decent conversation with my brother about how he is not or hasn't since last September supported his children without flying off the handle and screaming and yelling about how I am a bad mother and he is going to report me to Children's Aid (of which a complaint by coincidence was made a day later to Children's Aid - they found the allegations were without merit).

He will not respond to his lawyer so we do not have a separation agreement in place as of yet. Without getting any form of support from him I am barely making ends meet as it is so coming up with the money to take him to court is not possible.

So what are your thoughts on getting a peace bond kept in effect if my only complaint is that he still has serious anger issues.
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Old 02-08-2010, 02:01 PM
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The peace bond was a result of a conviction. That can only be dealt with in criminal court. You may apply for a non-harassment order through family court, but they aren't easily enforced. If he hasn't done anything recently it may be hard to obtain one. Especially if you have arranged no contact during access.

If the kids are scared of him does he have supervised visitation? Do you have custody?
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Old 02-08-2010, 02:40 PM
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There are two types of protection orders. One is the restraining order which is through family court. The other is the Peace Bond which you apply to a Justice of the Peace for. I would apply for a Peace Bond as that is what he has already entered into and as we don't have an action in family court I would have to start one to get a restraining order. He hasn't done anything per se but I still have a fear that he might if allowed to attend at my home.

There is no separation agreement other than a letter from his lawyer that sets out his access is every other weekend (Friday at 6:00 p.m. to Monday at 7:00 a.m.). We presently have no contact and for that reason set up the access drop off and pick up at the day care. He thought and told everyone that when he entered into the Peace Bond he would be able to come to my house to drop off and pick up the kids. I really don't feel comfortable with him attending at my house. I have put up with 8 years of his abuse of which consisted of him punching walls for simple things such as not being able to find a certain pair of pants which finally ended with him hauling me off the bed (where I was watching a movie with my kids) and throwing me down a flight of stairs while yelling at me to pack up my stuff and leave. I didn't leave but called 911 instead.

He had supervised access while under the bail conditions. This was removed when entering the Peace Bond at the request of his father who was the individual that supervised the access.
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Old 02-08-2010, 04:21 PM
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Have you talked to a lawyer?

I would try to extend the peace bond, but start putting together the paperwork and information JIC you have to file in Family Court. If you don't get the Peace Bond, I would apply for the RO just for some protection.

Are you working on a Separation Agreement? If you are uncomfortable with him dropping off the kids at your house, don't let him. You have custody and given the situation it would be foolish of you to do that.

Try to set up another neutral location. Can you still use daycare as the main location? This is what I do. Otherwise you could use a busy coffeeshop, library etc. Somewhere that any confrontation will be noticed. We do ours either at the police station or Timmies.
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Old 02-08-2010, 06:20 PM
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if you do not want him attending your residence send a letter to his lawyer that he is not allowed there and that if he does show up police will be called and he will be charged with criminal trespass.
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Old 02-09-2010, 01:28 PM
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Did it ever occur to you that it could be your brother fueling the fire?

If he has not breached his bail restrictions or peace bond terms, you have no chance of getting a restraining order against him.

Once the peace bond is over, give him a registered letter that you don't want any contact with him except for such and such purposes or through so and so. If he has learned his lesson he will respect your wishes otherwise get him charged again which you know is not that hard in our system.
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