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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 02-16-2011, 09:37 PM
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Default Peace Bond

My ex-spouse was arrested for criminal harassment, uttering a death threat and physical assault and the result was that he got a "peace bond" for 1 year which ends in May 25, 2011.

He has still been very hostile towards me, shouting at me, telling me where I should stand on my property when he drops off our child - yes literally "stay there and don't move from your door" kind of thing...etc..

My question is - once the peace bond is over.....I'm afraid. Is there any way I can ask for another peace bond or something so that he has to leave me alone and only communicate with me through email pertaining to access to our child or I'm out of luck and will have to deal with him.

I believe very strongly that because he is trying to "restrain" himself now (and doing a poor job at that) because of the peace bond, that will all disappear when he knows it's "expired" (if that's the word to use).

what can I do. I worry for my safety.

Thanks.
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Old 02-17-2011, 12:21 AM
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yo 3 charges and your worried about a peace bond? thats whacked!
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Old 02-17-2011, 08:56 AM
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I had the same problem with my ex and my 9 year old. I chose to move within the county I lived in and he has no idea of my address. Now as long as he has a phone number then you can make arrangements for him to pick the child up a different location. Places such as a Police Station, Fire Hall, Womens Shelter. Their are also places that facilitate the change over of the access. You need to call your local womens shelter as this guy is obviously very Abusive, and seek informatioin through them.
My son has refused to see his father as he has seen the abuse and my son reported the abuse to his school and to the CAS when the came. So no one has an issue with my son saying NO to his DAD until he fixes his meaness problems. I have demanded my ex get psyc help as he has some anger issues. They are not your problem nor mine. He needs help and in all fairness, Protect your son first, access later. Call the Womens shelter and seek advise through them. They can be a wealth of information and help when dealiing with an Abusive spouse.
It seems when you leave them for being abusive they want to lie about it. So take it to the Womens shelter as they are still the best to help you. Been their done that and it works well. They will help you. I wish you the Very best of luck but remember Protect your child. His Father does NOT have the right to Abuse YOU or your son.
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Old 02-17-2011, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Deut7 View Post
I have demanded my ex get psyc help as he has some anger issues.
Well now that we're authorized to demand psyc help, I demand you get some.
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Old 02-17-2011, 01:06 PM
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Ummm,why does this guy have any custody rights?
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:05 PM
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Dad to the end
it's obvious why you are single.

I just can not understand why anyone in there right mind would listen to you. I see why your wife and kids are gone.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:57 PM
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so let's see.....it's ok for you to determine who needs psyc help, however when put back on you it is unacceptable, your advice is extremely hostile and ridiculous, so take that and run to your nearest shelter.
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Old 02-17-2011, 03:59 PM
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Time for another poll.
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Old 02-17-2011, 06:20 PM
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Default abuse

This is a tough one. No person should be subjected to abuse. Putting the child in the middle, though, is one form of abuse. I agree that children should be empowered enough to have a say and express their fears, but get the feeling that the child in this scenario may be being strongly influenced by mom's fear or perhaps a need to control. Dad has the right to access, apparently. Teaching children to deceive, to be dropped off at a police station, etc is eventually going to cause more problems, even if you don't mean it too. There is an old saying: there are three sides to every story, his, hers and the truth. Often resolving a difficult situation for the children's benefit involves both mom and dad changing patterns. By the way, I am a psych nurse who has been through similar events and life experiences.
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Old 02-17-2011, 06:31 PM
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My ex-spouse was arrested for criminal harassment, uttering a death threat and physical assault and the result was that he got a "peace bond" for 1 year which ends in May 25, 2011.
He has still been very hostile towards me, shouting at me, telling me where I should stand on my property when he drops off our child - yes literally "stay there and don't move from your door" kind of thing...etc.

If your Peace Bond is still in effect until May 25/11, how is it he is still having any contact with you? Getting another one will do you just about as much good as this one. Why not call the police and have him charged with Breach?
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