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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 08-31-2012, 04:03 PM
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Default Obligation to Investigate

What requirements or mandates are there to investigate domestic violence. I have been assaulted on 4 (reported) separate occasion by my stbx wife. All times the police just come separate us and make one of us leave. No investigations are completed and all the reports i have obtained state that "Both parties involved advised police that no assaults or threats had taken place."

This is the farthest from the truth. When the police arrived on all occasions the first thing I said to them was that my wife had assaulted me.

On the one 911 call I obtained you can clearly hear my stbx tell the 911 operator that she slapped me. Which was of course only part of what she actually did to me.

The thing that is really bothering me is that if any of these situations had been the other way around I can almost guarantee I would be out the door in cuffs.

Last night the officer specifically told me that her trying to forcefully remove my cell phone from my hand is not assault. It's just an argument. I had the whole thing on video. The officer did not want to see it and performed no investigation other than taking statements. The only notes he took was my Name DOB and cell phone number.

Criminal Code

Quote:
265. (1) A person commits an assault when

(a) without the consent of another person, he applies force intentionally to that other person, directly or indirectly;
But I guess I see the problem.

Not sure what to do if it happens again as the police do not take this seriously and it makes me look like an idiot. I'm tired of being harassed and abused.

Am I able to go to the police station and ask the charges be laid even thought the officers on scene did nothing. Should I try. Or will it just look like a moron on a mission.

Here is the full story

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f6/so-tired-12804/
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:06 PM
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Did you go to the ER after these assaults?Did you have your doctor document the injuries?
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Old 08-31-2012, 05:40 PM
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"The thing that is really bothering me is that if any of these situations had been the other way around I can almost guarantee I would be out the door in cuffs."

So true!

When my ex and I knew we were splitting, a week before I was supposed to move out, I started packing some things and the ex started an argument with me over it. She phoned her Mom and a short while later, there were police at our door, saying I "threatened my ex's life" which, I never did!
The police escorted me out of the house right then.

The charge was dropped against me in court.

Basically the ex and her family came up with the scheme to do that to me so I couldn't take any belongings/contents from the house. I basically was able to take a few clothing items and my car...that's it! Even though our separation agreement stated I was to receive all of my personal belongings...she kept it all.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:31 PM
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Not to minimize - and it does appear you are experiencing an unfortunate double standard - but you really should be calling the regular police line for these incidents.

**9-1-1** is for life and death emergencies and is widely misused. Back to what I said yesterday: you are sitting on a powderkeg there. I know it sucks, but some distance (close friend or family that lives close by) would be ideal.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murphyslaw View Post
Did you go to the ER after these assaults?Did you have your doctor document the injuries?
I did not receive any injuries.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hadenough View Post
Not to minimize - and it does appear you are experiencing an unfortunate double standard - but you really should be calling the regular police line for these incidents.

**9-1-1** is for life and death emergencies and is widely misused. Back to what I said yesterday: you are sitting on a powderkeg there. I know it sucks, but some distance (close friend or family that lives close by) would be ideal.
Good point re: 911. however I'm not going to spend the time to look up a local phone number while my stbx is chasing me around the house.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by knackered View Post
"The thing that is really bothering me is that if any of these situations had been the other way around I can almost guarantee I would be out the door in cuffs."

So true!

When my ex and I knew we were splitting, a week before I was supposed to move out, I started packing some things and the ex started an argument with me over it. She phoned her Mom and a short while later, there were police at our door, saying I "threatened my ex's life" which, I never did!
The police escorted me out of the house right then.

The charge was dropped against me in court.

Basically the ex and her family came up with the scheme to do that to me so I couldn't take any belongings/contents from the house. I basically was able to take a few clothing items and my car...that's it! Even though our separation agreement stated I was to receive all of my personal belongings...she kept it all.
Wow that is crazy and I'm sorry you went through that.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:46 PM
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Look the # up and put it in your phone. I know ppl who are 911 dispatchers. You will fast become a nuisance and coud get in some real trouble for tying up their lines w/non-emergency phone calls.
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Old 08-31-2012, 09:53 PM
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Will do. Thanks
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Old 08-31-2012, 10:05 PM
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Bathroom, lock the door.
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