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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Domestic Violence

Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-30-2014, 11:16 PM
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Just'in is on a distinguished road
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I truly apologize if I mistook the correct web address. Maybe the mods can correct that because I can't change it.

I can only speak from my experience and did not expect such a diverse response. Despite my own experience with DV, I can acknowledge that DV victims are GENDERLESS. They can be women, men AND children. Just because I'm a man, strung along like a puppet through an incredible legal battle, it doesn't mean that I don't see that WOMEN can also be true victims of abuse.

The sad fact is that BOTH men AND women also abuse the system, "claim" abuse against their partners (even same-sex partners) when there is no merit. Once that is done, no matter who the victim is, it's a huge legal battle to overcome. Does it matter if it's a man, woman, child or same-sex scenario?

A liar is a liar. A victim is a victim. Why should perspective change on right and wrong?

Either way, domestic abuse is NOT TOLERABLE. This is what researchers should be focussing on. Ya, maybe the "system" got it wrong based on facts available at the time. But those are the KEY words - facts available at the time.

As time progresses, liars claiming dv will be more easily spotted; and those liars can be women, men, AND children. An education is needed. And not enough is done for ALL THOSE that truly have or are facing dv.

Again, my apologies for posting the wrong link.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 01:14 AM
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Posts: 2,838
stripes is on a distinguished road
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Just'in View Post
I truly apologize if I mistook the correct web address. Maybe the mods can correct that because I can't change it.


Again, my apologies for posting the wrong link.
No worries at all. We sometimes get some weird trolls here, especially around the issue of DV, but it's clear from your response that you're not one of them. I am very sorry about your experience, and I hope you are able to find some healing.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-31-2014, 01:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
No worries at all. We sometimes get some weird trolls here, especially around the issue of DV, but it's clear from your response that you're not one of them. I am very sorry about your experience, and I hope you are able to find some healing.
Thanks stripes. To be honest, I've been through 2 marriages and both have been abusive. I thought after my first round in family court that I was going through hell. Seems my second round is 10 times worse! From police involvement (fabricated, dropped allegations), OCL, cas, the court system, and now mediation, she seems to have all the cards with rich friends that are paying for her team of lawyers. I'm basically self-repped. I love my kids. I CARED for my children more than she made herself available. Perhaps some residual anger there (sorry), but at the end of the day I still believe in love and I believe in family and I CAN acknowledge that dv is a reality for many of both genders (like my mother who was near-daily beaten by my father). I've seen many sides of this.

After much shame and sense of failure, I can be angry enough to advocate for "men's rights"... I won't. Mostly because I know that it isn't anybody's right to be abusive to another.

So I choose to advocate for the betterment of society. Perhaps naive, but at the very least it's genuine. DV simply should not be tolerated ANYWHERE, AGAINST ANYONE, no matter what GENDER, age, race, etc. DV is just wrong. When the courts are going to be educated enough to see this is a separate matter. DV is genderless and liars claiming dv are also genderless. It happens both ways.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-03-2014, 11:11 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: calgary
Posts: 190
pokeman has a little shameless behaviour in the past
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I came to this site many years ago seeking
advice, got some - bad advice - absoultly no
real world insight.

this site promotes 'status quo' cause its one
sided for now - don't be ashmed for having
a bulg in your undies'

the mission of this site is too make you all
smooth in front - afraid too speak up - else
your a troll too ...

its politically incorrect these days to
say a 'women attacked you' or made you a
victim - that's their turf ...

my Wife beat my kids till they bleed from the
mouth , she got custody too ... why ?

problem is in my 4 years in court only saw
1 or 2 men, in hindsight they were
rational - women, no way - same attitude as
my X - came out her vag*** dam if she's
going to pay for them ( quote from her
mouth not mine ), in todays society stereotype
untimely she is a victim OR NO AIRTIME

don't be sorry or ashamed cause you were born
a man and became a father

traveling abroad men in other other countrys know
Canada is a sh1thole saying 1 thing and doing
another. that's why 1 sex has 90% custody of children
here.

men get yourself a lawyer on advice of another
dad that did ok , do not waste every cent you
have fighting for your children as the lawyers
will pocket the coin knowing the 'socialst' Canadian
system will give her 50% or more custody.

the truth men is talking too your friends and family
asking "who gets the children " - you will be tagged a dead
beat if the lawyers drain you and then when your border line
financially 1 bad stroke of bad luck ( in addition to Family Law )
you cant pay and they will crucify you - this web site will
never blame a lawyer cause that's who owns it

dads that fight the system too the end fightening for their kids
are simply labeled 'dead beats', a mother fightening for her
children is her right ... poor thing - child support exempt ...

luv u all

Last edited by pokeman; 11-03-2014 at 11:17 PM. Reason: what can i say, engineer and cant spell
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-04-2014, 11:13 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,702
DowntroddenDad will become famous soon enough
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Pokeman,

If you are so unhappy with this site, then why continue to post.

I don't see the world through the same lens as you. I believe the system is far from perfect, but so are many things. From what I learned here, I avoided court. And I found friends and support when things were darkest.

There are other places on the net that share your view. You are entitled to have it, and we are entitled to comment on it. Your choice.
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