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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 05-17-2010, 09:35 PM
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well this has been quite the night. the idiot my mother has had living in her house has been abusing her and tonight it was bad

background they have had sex in the past (news to me)
he dragged her by the hair down a hall
unplugged her computer

She is being charged with assault because he was trying to force his way into the trailer (in my name and my moms) and she pushed him back. This was after he abused her.

The cops have served her with papers and her court date is in June. The police told her she cannot go back to the trailer nor cut off any services like phone etc (they are all in her name) All the furniture etc in the trailer belongs to her. She is worried that he will damage stuff.

What are her options???? Please help
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:59 PM
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Its a serious matter. It appears they are under some sort of Recognizance which was entered into either with or without legal advice. They must abide those specified conditions or face further criminal charge. Most likely, Assault 266 of the CC - Seek Criminal lawyer right away...
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Its a serious matter. It appears they are under some sort of Recognizance which was entered into either with or without legal advice. They must abide those specified conditions or face further criminal charge. Most likely, Assault 266 of the CC - Seek Criminal lawyer right away...
not sure but i told her to go to the lawyer tomorrow. Considering the trailer is in my and her name can I kick him out?? Does she have to leave the cable and phone hooked up?? Both are in her name

She only mentioned about the charge, i will ask for more details tomorrow when she is calmer.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 05-17-2010 at 11:22 PM.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:23 PM
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If they don't leave voluntarily, most likely take a court order. If your mother requires personal items, surely an arrangement can be made with the local police to supervise entry without breaching recognizance.

Criminal record ramification of the charge...

Last edited by logicalvelocity; 05-17-2010 at 11:26 PM.
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Old 05-17-2010, 11:39 PM
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the police said her friend can go.

My mom has never been in trouble before and he pleaded quilty to hitting her about 6 years ago

Also he was at a friends house and the friend emailed my mother. She had already dropped the other parties clothes off there. She emailed the friend saying that he (other party) was not to come back to the trailer (he doesn't pay any of the bills or give her rent money) as she had changed the locks and he was not longer welcome there. He could come and get his personal items and stuff but that he was no longer going to be able to live there.

Last edited by standing on the sidelines; 05-17-2010 at 11:51 PM.
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Old 05-18-2010, 12:00 AM
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If it was me - I would deal with the criminal matter first. However, theres nothing preventing parallel application other than costs.
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Old 05-18-2010, 06:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity View Post
If it was me - I would deal with the criminal matter first. However, theres nothing preventing parallel application other than costs.
I told her to contact a lawyer today, not to wait. The police told her she can get legal aid but i think becasue of her substantial GICS (90,000) and RRSPs (not sure of amount but it is up there also) and she owns the trailer, she does not qualify and to waste time on that is going to slow the process down.

I can only hope that the guy has some sort of ethics and morals and decides that enough is enough and moves out. She has some funiture there that is very valuable, her computer etc that I am worried about. Plus the police told her she could not cut off the phone and cable even though both are in her name. I told her that until she gets legal advice to cut the cable back to basic and make it so he cannot make long distance calls on the phone That way she is not cutting it off, just going to very basic.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:31 AM
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That is horrible. I wish your mother well.
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Old 05-18-2010, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
I told her to contact a lawyer today, not to wait. The police told her she can get legal aid but i think becasue of her substantial GICS (90,000) and RRSPs (not sure of amount but it is up there also) and she owns the trailer, she does not qualify and to waste time on that is going to slow the process down.

I can only hope that the guy has some sort of ethics and morals and decides that enough is enough and moves out. She has some funiture there that is very valuable, her computer etc that I am worried about. Plus the police told her she could not cut off the phone and cable even though both are in her name. I told her that until she gets legal advice to cut the cable back to basic and make it so he cannot make long distance calls on the phone That way she is not cutting it off, just going to very basic.
Have the friend remove the valued possessions. The police have no jurisdiction when it comes to disconnecting utilities unless its a term of the recognizance. The account holder reserves that right.

Considering, it appears Bail conditions were entered without legal advice -- Time of arrest should be reviewed with a lawyer. Perhaps her liberties have been infringed and if so, Acquittal.
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Old 05-18-2010, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity View Post
Have the friend remove the valued possessions. The police have no jurisdiction when it comes to disconnecting utilities unless its a term of the recognizance. The account holder reserves that right.

Considering, it appears Bail conditions were entered without legal advice -- Time of arrest should be reviewed with a lawyer. Perhaps her liberties have been infringed and if so, Acquittal.
yes she had no legal advice plus she was emotional distraught at the time and I think maybe had a few drinks at her friends place.

She told him not to come back after he dragged her down the hall by her hair. She dropped his clothes off at the place he was at but he decided to get a ride to her place because he needed his slippers for some reason. That is when he tried to force his way in and she shoved him back. He got in and instead of calling the police right away she decided to head over to her friends house to let the situation cool off. It has been a combative situation since day one and alcohol abuse on both sides had fueled the flames more then once.

He has so far called my grandmother and told her my mother is this terrible person and he told my mom that he is going to call me. What for I have no idea but I am not playing into any traps and am screening my calls. If he wants to talk he can leave a message on my answering machine that way if he threatens me like he has in the past, (not to me directly) it will be recorded.

Sorry for the long posts. I am just so screwed up right now about all this. I gave her the number of the womans shelter so she can get some legal advice and much needed counselling. I am also playing hard ball with her and I am going to tell her that enough is enough. Either it is over for good with him or over for good with me. So sick of the drama and her complaining about him.
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