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-   -   men vs women's claims of dv (http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f12/men-vs-womens-claims-dv-18242/)

Just'in 11-02-2014 09:09 PM

men vs women's claims of dv
 
Maybe I'm in the wrong section but something struck me just now while I was reading various posts on this site.

Is it just me or are men's claims of dv becoming "better tolerated" than those made by women?

More so I kinda wonder about the perception of this community and how you personally think this would play out in family law by gender these days? As men have been unfairly treated by claims against them in past family and criminal law (based on information available at the time), is society setting up a path to unfairly treat women next to punish them for the wrongs and misrepresentations of a few nasty biatches? This couldn't be the right thing to do.

Should raising overdue awareness for one gender condemn the other gender for those amounts of claims that were intended to abuse the system? What about the ones that truly do and continue to suffer from dv?

My personal instinct is to be concerned about our path forward in a men's movement of modern society; mostly because I think dv is genderless. As a male victim of dv, I have little difficulty believing either gender's claims could be true AND not. My own mother was regularly beaten and put down by my father for years. I'd hate to know that for women like her there would be lesser support today in the court system, by the police and by public view. I don't think that because I'm a man moving through an awareness trend that I should be better heard than a woman who suffers from dv.

I guess I'm in a pensive mood tonight.

FightingForFamily 11-03-2014 03:09 PM

As a male victim of dv, did you receive the same level of financial, social and emotional support that a female victim of dv would?

Were you able to flee anonymously to a shelter with your children, be put into protective care and have your financial and legal needs taken care of for you while you hid in a place of safety?

Did you call the police and was your abuser arrested, jailed and charged and punished to the full extent of the law?

Due to your abuser's violence nature, could they not see their children at all, or only the watch of trained social workers at a supervised access centre?

Or was your dv not taken seriously by anyone else while you were expected to man up?

mcdreamy 11-03-2014 09:01 PM

Stat Can 2010 profile -of police reported incidents, violence against women is still more than double than that against men.

On the upside, it appears family homicide is decreasing. Unfortunately, depressing when we look at the #'s of our children and note our girls are 4 times more likely to be sexually assaulted than our boys.

Source: http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85-002-.../11643-eng.pdf

I would note, the above stats are police reported only.

Of course, as we can see from recent news with Ghomeshi and twittered at hashtag BeenRapedNeverReported, the most gendered violent crime is the most under reported.

Serene 11-03-2014 10:35 PM

Victim of divorce? We're you a victim of marriage too? Come on, call it what it is - just because you didn't succeed doesn't mean you are a "victim".

pokeman 11-03-2014 10:45 PM

i reported abuse, city police said
'dont be so childish reporting abuse'

i filed a domestic abuse 'emergency
protection order' , the police never
served it

i testified my x attacked my children
, in one case putting 5yr old daughter in the car -
driving her home and then upon entry
into the home pushing her face into the
floor and putting her foot on my
daughters neck.

what she did too me was on no interest.

she had custody 36mths later ...


don't look for sympathy on this site for men
being treated unfairly , it will condemn men's
groups and any organized movement men have.

wantmyfreedom 11-04-2014 06:53 AM

It all boils down to numbers. More men abuse women .... period. The police release their stats for the public.

Their should absolutely be more resources for men. Lets approach our local politicians for that funding. That being said the services in place for women are very much needed.

Most women as opposed to men are vulnerable to abuse because of the sacrifices they make when raising very young children. Leaving employment and freedom behind for the greater good of their families. This cuts them off from being self sufficient. The services in place enable a woman to escape and be safe.

Lets not whine about legal aid and shelters. Women and children need them.

Dont even get me started on welfare...Abusive men should pay their spousal and child support. Instead they degrade their former wives and throw the welfare card in their faces.

I saved the best for last.... those special people who abuse the system with their lies. We need real punishments for these fools. Yes folks ...these fools are genderless. Lets charge them with fraud and give them a criminal record.


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