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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 02-04-2014, 12:43 PM
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In order to understand whether domestic violence exists within a family it’s [sic] definition and effect must be stated clearly and comprehensively. Unfortunately the words “domestic violence” do and have defined a number of behaviours including isolated or rare incidents in a relationship – a push, a shove, rudeness, disrespect, and name calling all of which are unpleasant to those on the receiving end of these behaviours but which should not necessarily be accepted as an indication that the relationship requires judicial intervention. If these behaviours have no pattern of repetition and leave little if any lasting impact upon the recipient they need not be monitored with the same vigilance as will be the case when coercive control is involved. Counselling programs for persons who are “unpleasant” towards others may be quite different from those designed for persons who resort to abuse as a mechanism of coercive control.
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Old 02-24-2014, 05:14 PM
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what defines a coercive control?
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Old 02-24-2014, 06:57 PM
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As I understand it, coercive control is when you use violence or abuse as a way of forcing the other person to do (or not do) something. For instance, someone who beats their spouse for divulging marriage difficulties to a friend may be using violence as a way of forcing the spouse to remain quiet and not talk about problems. Someone who uses threats of violence to get sex is also exerting coercion and control. This is different from "explosive" violence, which occurs because the perpetrator is unable or unwilling to regulate his/her emotional outbursts and acts out feelings of anger or hostility through violence. Both kinds of behavior can co-exist in the same person.
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Old 02-25-2014, 12:18 AM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Unfortunately, this is impossible if you penalize women for making false accusations - you'll reduce the incentive to make the "real" accusations and unless it is EXTREMELY flagrant the system would prefer not to discourage abused women from coming forward by penalizing liars.
^^^ Very true, many spouses endure years of abuse simply for fear of not being taken seriously (men/women). As I wrote earlier police are hesitant to pursue the issue unless there are obvious signs of violence - often times victims will press charges and later drop them for various reasons. It takes a victim several attempts to muster the courage to finally get out ...

The risk of false allegations being made in order to gain custody or exclusive possession of the MH happens more than we know and I truly sympathize with anyone falsely accused.

Having said that, if there is a history of well documented problems - not just a one-time loss of self-control, chances are it's real.
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