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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 05:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Hi All,

If anyone doubts that this material is provided by domestic violence workers at shelters one only needs to call the intake line and ask them for book recommendations to recommend to a friend. It is simple, fast and easy to check yourself. I do recommend that you call a few shelters to get a better sample then relying upon just one call. It really depends on the intake worker who answers the call.

Good Luck!
Tayken
Guess I am not on ignore anymore....

I just wanted to also point out that calling a line dedicated to the assistance of victims of violence just to check what resources they may or may not recommend is not good advice. Those workers are helping real victims and need to keep the line free. Most crisis lines do not have call waiting and so a real victim will get a busy signal while you are trying to validate your point.

Further, it has been stated a few times on this board that Ottawa Divorce is not a support group for domestic violence. Since that is the case, why we need a thread debunking this Brancroff's silliness is a mystery to me. Who cares if the guy is a nut job......

Last edited by SadAndTired; 07-15-2013 at 05:29 PM.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 06:02 PM
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Hi All,

I am pointing out the inconsistencies with Mr. Bancroft's materials and blogs in relation to Mr. William Eddy, Kregger, et all's theory of high conflict people and distortion campaigns:

Quote:
Originally Posted by High Conflict Institute
Distortion Campaign: This is a term coined by Randi Kreger and Paul Mason, the authors of Stop Walking on Eggshells: When Someone You Love Has Borderline Personality Disorder (1998, New Harbinger Publications). This is a frequent occurrence for those with personality disorders, as they aggressively try to persuade others that their cognitive distortions are true. Since their distortions are usually obvious to others as extreme and unlikely, they escalate their emotions to try to persuade others that they are victims. The Targets of their distortion campaigns are often those closest to them who no longer support their cognitive distortions, which feels extremely threatening to the Blamerís world view. These campaigns often involve spreading rumours to the Targetís extended family members, professionals (therapist, doctor, accountant, and so forth), community, and eventually to the courts.
My concerns with the materials published by Mr. Bancroft is that they are not (a) often lack clinical citing (personal opinion based statements) (b) rely possibly on personal opinions exposed on his blogs that are potentially "odd" and (c) may possibly align to similar patterns of behaviours of "gurus" in OACP litigation tactics ("truisms").

Many litigants are being recommended his materials as demonstrated in this thread already and these litigants are attempting to align their "evidence" to Mr. Bancroft's theory of "abusive men".

This thread serves as an opportunity for everyone reviewing his materials to challenge his ideas further, explore for themselves and come to their own conclusions and to openly discuss the theory as applied in accordance with Rule 24.(4) of the CLRA ("Violence and Abuse").

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 06:12 PM
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Absolutely, SadAndTired. I looked through some of the Bancroft links and concluded that he is whacked-out, but no one should be calling domesic violence lines to try to "catch" them recommending his materials. The people who staff those lines have my greatest admiration and support, and shouldn't be used as fodder for debating points while real violence calls go unanswered. I hope that wasn't a serious suggestion.


Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
Guess I am not on ignore anymore....

I just wanted to also point out that calling a line dedicated to the assistance of victims of violence just to check what resources they may or may not recommend is not good advice. Those workers are helping real victims and need to keep the line free. Most crisis lines do not have call waiting and so a real victim will get a busy signal while you are trying to validate your point.

Further, it has been stated a few times on this board that Ottawa Divorce is not a support group for domestic violence. Since that is the case, why we need a thread debunking this Brancroff's silliness is a mystery to me. Who cares if the guy is a nut job......
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 06:19 PM
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Domestic violence shelters are not an emergency service. If anyone is in danger they are advised to call 911 in the event of an emergency and not a community service. Currently in Ontario domestic violence shelters are information providers and not emergency response units such as fire, police and ambulance. To suggest otherwise is in my opinion demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of the informational services provided.

Per the advice of Legal Aid Ontario:

http://www.legalaid.on.ca/en/getting...icviolence.asp

Quote:
If this is an emergency or you are afraid for your life, call 911 or your local police service.
In addition my understanding of the board rules is as such:

Quote:
Originally Posted by OttawaDivorce.com Board Rules
You can't post the same thing multiple times on the board, or continuously make posts that have no real content or relevance to what is being discussed. Try not to post more than twice in a row in the same thread. If you post just to agree with someone, it's not necessary to quote a full page of their post, a few lines will do. This keeps threads from being 6 pages long.
Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 07-15-2013 at 06:26 PM.
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 06:37 PM
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Yes, I know domestic violence hotlines aren't "first responder" emergency services like police and ambulances, but having worked on similar lines, I also know they get a large volume of urgent calls from people who are either at a moment of crisis in their lives (even if they aren't physically in immediate danger), or who are in situations such that if their call doesn't get answered now, they won't be able to call again. Calls usually don't come from people who are just seeking factual information. So anything that ties up hotlines is just a bad idea.

Point taken on overuse of quote function and the non-necessity of posting just to agree with someone. I really didn't need to echo SadAndTired above.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 07:47 PM
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Stripes, it doesn't say you can't agree with someone. Only that you should keep the quoting to a minimum. I appreciated your input.

Tayken has highlighted this

Quote:
If you post just to agree with someone, it's not necessary to quote a full page of their post, a few lines will do.
which I think is just to keep threads small when quoting a long post.

That is it.
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 07-15-2013, 07:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tayken View Post
Domestic violence shelters are not an emergency service. If anyone is in danger they are advised to call 911 in the event of an emergency and not a community service. Currently in Ontario domestic violence shelters are information providers and not emergency response units such as fire, police and ambulance. To suggest otherwise is in my opinion demonstrates a significant lack of understanding of the informational services provided.
No one suggested they are an "emergency service". Just that calling multiple shelters to just make a point or trying to "prove" they are using certain materials is a serious waste of a shelter worker's time and may prevent a victim from reaching support. I don't think anyone wants that.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2013, 02:06 PM
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Default Lundy Bancroft!

***********************

I have read his entire book not just 100 words off a blog and he is amazingly accurate and helpful! I have gone to a lecture where he spoke and he writes his books like you have half a brain unlike the domestic violence shelter! I have been to the domestic violence shelter and they did not give me this book nor did they give us any blankets and there wasn't any food we ate McDonalds every night! You can't bring food in or it becomes communal property. They only made my life miserable for the 3 days I was there. Their counseling is a joke it is designed to tell you lies to scare you and get you to leave. While giving you no means to survive on your own!

Stop knocking this man who has been so helpful to me and many others! I don't know why anyone would care what he writes it sounds personal!

Last edited by Mess; 09-22-2013 at 03:04 PM. Reason: ad hominem attack
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2013, 03:03 PM
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Mencan't, please do not try to shoot down what someone says by making disparaging remarks about them.

Address the statement, not the person.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mencan't View Post
Stop knocking this man who has been so helpful to me and many others! I don't know why anyone would care what he writes it sounds personal!
It is ok for you to write about your experience with shelters, and with this book. It is not ok for you to instruct other members of the board what to, and what not to, write.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 09-22-2013, 05:39 PM
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Default Lundy Bancroft!

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Last edited by Mess; 09-22-2013 at 05:49 PM. Reason: spam
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