I have no doubt...

[wretchedotis]

that it's been brought up before.
In fact, I see a member talking about a simlar experience.

But in the not too distant past my ex's bf (and father of her second and soon to be third child), has told my boy that "You're DAD doesn't love you".

Just looking for some reaction to this.
Is this CAS thing, or a Court thing?

How do I use this development to further my cause?
Any ideas?

[Pink]

I don't think there is really much of anything you can do in my experience. Just reassure your child that you do in fact love them and focus on the quality of time that you spend with your son.
I've been dealing with similar stuff and the lawyer will send a letter to your x's lawyer saying you shouldn't talk like that, but nothing really happens.
Just document everything that happens in case you go to trial.

[dinkyface]

Agreed. Unless you find that it is truly causing your son distress, and is harming your relationship, there's not much you can do about it.

Your son came to you with this (is that right?), so that's a good sign that he knows what's what.

[walshch]

As others have said, there's nothing legally you can do about it. No law against being an asshole.

[iceberg]

Originally Posted by walshch

As others have said, there's nothing legally you can do about it. No law against being an asshole.

What are you talking about? PA is characterized as a form of abuse not just being an asshole.

Everything is right what others have said, be the best parent you can be, never talk bad about the childs other parent to or in front of the child and document everything.

I did a lot of research and consulted a lawyer regarding this matter. This is what I will do if there is no doubt that there is PA.

1) I will contact the court to include a clause into our agreement that parents (or anyone else in our households) are not allowed to talk negative in front of or to the child about the other parent.

2) If it continues I will get a mental health expert, not sure if OCL provides that or just a children therapist but that os easy to find out.

3) Will take the other parent to court. Should this happen I have to make sure my wallet is full because I would need a lawyer who has dealt with PA before because a lawyer who has no experience in this field is not good enough for me.

[wretchedotis]

Originally Posted by dinkyface

Your son came to you with this (is that right?), so that's a good sign that he knows what's what.

Yes he did, shame a 5 year old has to question it to his DAD. He didn't actually really come to me with it, so much as break down in tears when he saw me next.

Originally Posted by iceberg

1) I will contact the court to include a clause into our agreement that parents (or anyone else in our households) are not allowed to talk negative in front of or to the child about the other parent.

Not sure this would mean anything. Seems she can withold access contrary to Court Order. Why would a clause to talk nice be followed?

[Pink]

Originally Posted by wretchedotis

Not sure this would mean anything. Seems she can withold access contrary to Court Order. Why would a clause to talk nice be followed?

It basically means nothing. I have a clause in my custody agreement that states that we are not allowed to discuss adult issues with or in front of the children. X and his gf break this constantly and there really isn't much I can do.
My lawyer can send his lawyer a letter saying please ask your client not to discuss adult issues blah blah blah and his lawyer comes back with a my client didnt do that blah blah...waste of time and money with no results

[walshch]

Iceberg..good luck with your clause to prohibit adults from talking negative in front of the kids. You should read The Constitution Act - Section 2 (b). Like I said earlier, there's no law against being an ass. In wretchedotis' case, the Ex's boyfriend can say anything he wants, as long as it is not a threat. Him saying that "You're DAD doesn't love you." is ignorant to say the least, but there is SFA that can be done about it.

[iceberg]

@ Wretchedotis: When a parent continuosly denies access the court will make them stop. With documented child access history you first ask the court to order make up time, they will. Second time you ask to enclose police enforcement clause, third time you ask for custody change. (Yes unlikely but not impossible)

Walshch, I totally agree that it may mean nothing, but to some parents it will. Some people don't even know what PA is and what damage they are doing to their children. This clause may stop a so called mild or actional alienator but will not stop an obsessed one.

The lawyer did not tell me this would stop PA, but if she signs it, then breaks it, she is breaking her own agreement.

If you go straight to court for PA the first thing they might do is have this clause to see what happens.

BTW, I honestly don't know how to deal when the "alienator" is a step parent or a grandparent but I think it is in the same category