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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-16-2012, 07:39 AM
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I like Mess, idea. Buy a cheap pay as you go and make sure the ex only has that one. Devious, evil, etc. Well played.
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Old 06-16-2012, 07:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Buy her one of these:

Amazon.com: Pyle-Pro PMP30 Professional Megaphone/Bullhorn with Siren: Sports & Outdoors

Frankly, I'd just use call block. Its going to be a whole hell of a lot of work to trace these calls and its a far stretch that they're going to do anything about it in court.

Its just high school nonsense. Either block the calls or simply ignore them. She'll get tired of doing it soon enough. If that's all she's doing to harrass her...its no big deal....I've heard a lot worse.
works for telemarketers also lol
I had an ex who was like that and it was before call display (hard to believe, boy I am old) I knew it was him as he would call when someone was at the rental house (he had moved out, lease was in my name) and not talk. He would call for about an hour straight. A friend suggested a whistle and to blow it into the phone when the person wouldnt answer. Worked like a charm, just needed to use it about three times and he left me alone.
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Old 06-16-2012, 09:09 PM
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Check your individual phone.
I have an option to block callers/telephone numbers-it doesn't ring and goes straight to voicemail.
I also have an option to block texts from certain phone numbers-I get nothing if that number sends me a text.
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Old 06-18-2012, 10:39 PM
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two phones an excellent idea. wish I had thought of that one
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2012, 12:39 AM
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Dear all.

Thanks for the responces. Ill try to address the questions. My GF is being harrased because she is my gf, there is no other tie between her and my x spouse. My X spouses daughter has placed harrasing calls befor to other people. Some things suggested do not work, The Numbers change because it a calling card. She calls a calling card and the card number shows up on the call displlay. Based on time and frequency, it can be a variety of numbers.

As for the call times, 1 hour before, 1 hour after, to her break schedule and she works the night shift. This was going on for several months. Their are a few exceptions to the calls, 2 days she got harassing calls all night were the nights the x called in sick to work. Several of the calls are within minutes of the x emailing me, and then the gf gets a call. She identified one person on the call, who moved into the building with the spouse the week she moved in.

She has informed me that the police will do nothing, cause its a small case and there is nothing to tie her to the calls. She can't do anything about the one person she identified, because she wasn't speaking into the phone it was people in a background that could have been at a bar or any other location. SEveral times the calls are just calls a someone is walking through a mall or park.

My Gf is actually intimidated to the point that its killing our relationship and she doesn't want to go to court with me on Custody issues because she get calls.

The initial week the police contacted her about the calls they stopped for several weeks. Now they restarted with random numbers completely and completely different times. However they still all occur within 10 minutes of emails.

She has said in an affidavide that she has provided her phone to the police, but there is no record of that information.

We asked the ase to be re-opened.
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Old 06-19-2012, 06:28 AM
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you never answered two of the main points

1. how did your gfs number end up apparently with your ex

2. why does't your gf just get a new number.

If your gf doesnt want to go to court with you then tell her its okay. She doesnt want to be involved because of the ex apparently harrassing her then let it be. She shouldnt be involved in disputes between you and your ex regarding custody anyways.
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Old 06-19-2012, 08:37 AM
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Your gf has to get a new phone number, there is no way around that.

My earlier suggestion, two phones and one phone is only given to the ex, will give you proof that the ex is responsible for the calls. You could use this in court, no matter if there were calling cards used. The ex would be the only person with the phone number, you haver now proven that she is making the calls or getting an "agent" to do it for her.

The next step would be to go to court and get a peace bond. You cannot get a restraining order. A restraining order is limited to family law cases, and can only be between the two ex's.

You would get a peace bond by going to a justice of the peace and swearing a complaint. You do not need a lawyer, however in your case I would suggest getting at least a 1 hour consultation with a criminal lawyer. A peace bond will not automatically give the other party a criminal record, but breaking the peace bond is a criminal offence.

You can get a free 1 hour consultation with a lawyer by contacting the Law Society of Upper Canada. They will refer you to a lawyer with experience and specialty in your situation. I strongly recommend that you put together a notebook or binder with tabs that has every detail of your situation, a record of dates and times, every attempt you have made through the police, and any other facts that you can think a lawyer might ask. Don't waste your hour trying to remember details, have the information in front of your organized with tabs. On the first page have a list of your questions with spaces to write the answers. Most of your questions should be around: What evidence do I need? How do I word my complaint? How do I express fear for my safety to the JOP? What forms do I have to fill out? Ect. Questions like these. Try not get emotional or to use the lawyer as a social worker. You have one hour, make the most of their expertise.

When you swear your complaint you can do it yourself, but you may consider hiring a paralegal to steer you through the process as well. They are a fraction of the cost of a lawyer. Again, I suggest a consultation with a criminal lawyer as a first step, but you don't need the expense of hiring a lawyer for the entire process. Keep in mind that a criminal lawyer would have experience representing clients who are defending against criminal harrassment and stalking charges, so they have complete information about what you need to prove.

You also have think about wording things properly. You have to show that your gf feels some level of fear, that there is some harm being caused. Your gf should go to her doctor, talk about her fear and stress, and consider getting a prescription. I'll be up front about this, it is about how it looks, and what you can show. Attach a letter from the doctor and a copy of the prescription to your affidavit and you have shown harm. It doesn't matter if your gf ever actually needs or takes the prescription.

If you don't want to go through with all of this, then just change the phone number and don't give it to the ex.
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2012, 09:45 AM
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Hmmmm.... how do you know when your ex calls in sick to work? How do you know who moved into the building with the ex?

Good thing your gf doesn't want to be involved in your custody issues - she should keep out of those issues.
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  #19 (permalink)  
Old 06-19-2012, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
My Gf is actually intimidated to the point that its killing our relationship and she doesn't want to go to court with me on Custody issues because she get calls.
Wow, really??

Relationships have much, much larger challenges than something like this. I must admit I'm surprised its such a big deal.

Personally, this tactic would be a waste of time with me since I very rarely answer the phone even for people I know unless its my kid's phone. If its a number that I don't know...I NEVER answer...either my cell or home phone. I let someone leave a voicemail and get back to it. With all the phone technology these days, its pretty easy to simply hang up, ignore calls, block calls, etc. Is she trying to make this way bigger drama than it really is for some other reason?

I think this is just an indication that your gf needs to be kept out of all your divorce matters. Its yours to deal with and if you leave her out of it and she ignores the calls, in time, I'm sure the nonsense will stop. I've noticed a lot of cases where the new gf/bf and the old spouse get a lot of mileage out of antagonizing each other and frankly, I never understand it.

No matter what you think of the ex partner and/or vice versa, I think people need to respect boundaries. Your ex needs to grow up and move on with her life and your new gf should be staying completely out of details and legalities of your divorce action.

If you can't make it through something as petty and trivial as this, your relationship is going to be pretty rocky.

Also, as to this:

Quote:
SEveral times the calls are just calls a someone is walking through a mall or park.
I can't imagine having the time to listen through a phone line to try to determine the location of the person who's not speaking on the other end. Just hang up! Talk about needless drama. Your gf is either enjoying the escalating conflict or she needs to find another hobby. Unless there are threats being made...this is so high school silly, its kinda ridiculous.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 06-19-2012 at 10:19 AM.
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Old 09-07-2012, 11:37 AM
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Is it really that hard to change your phone number? I mean I know some people cannot imagine having to have 7 new numbers to memorize, but really, just change the number and end this.

I am surprise this is even an issue. It's just a number! Change it!

But if the number has some sort of weird sentimental value, if you have an android, you can add any number to a "reject list". Google it.
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