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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 09:59 PM
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Absolutely no offense taken S&T - I was trying to imagine how a 5-year-old might respond, but I don't have the experience or knowledge to do so effectively.

It does sound like D5 has already been talking to some adults already, for good or for bad - I hope the OP can update us on what's going on.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 10:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stripes View Post
How did you learn that "something was reported already"? If any official report has been made to social services, you as a parent/guardian should already have been informed about this incident, not hearing it from your daughter. This is weird.

Who told you that "something was reported"?
Who reported it and to whom?
How do you get hold of a copy of the report?
Weird is putting it mildly.
It's complete, utter, f***ing incompetence, from an organization that I have no faith in, whatsoever. That is how I would phrase it. However, I hope to get some info and cooperation from them, so I won't tell them that, yet.

I asked them the same thing. Why was I not notified as her father, and why did I find out, from the comments of a 4 year old. So far, I have only been able to speak to the after-hours person, since it's the weekend. Their explanation is that it was just reported this last week. (I have no idea what that means. Reported Friday, or are we talking Monday?) That is a wide window. And they explained that the next steps are notifying parties, I was just not notified yet - apparently. Apparently, I won't have more info from them, until Monday, but I'm supposed to talk to the "new" worker on this already open file, then. Because apparently, whoever was already on it, is off on vacation next week?

I found it difficult to remain in-check, speaking to them, but I did.
So far, they only told me it was reported by a "counselor" - was the term used. I don't know more than that...Monday I'm supposed to be able to get more details.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 11:05 PM
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As for D4, I took her to emerg first thing today. Some questions were asked of her, by the proper folks at emerg, so I have to assume they handled it properly in regards to D4, since that is their job. So far, D4 seems fine and I'm going to try and keep it this way, by how I act. This is hard to do.

Last edited by dad2bandm; 09-07-2013 at 11:27 PM. Reason: Clarified "correctly"
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 11:06 PM
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I don't know if I'm handling it right, because I've never had to deal with this, but I think I am.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 11:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
As for D4, I took her to emerg first thing today. Some questions were asked of her, by the proper folks at emerg, so I have to assume they handled it since that is their job. So far, D4 seems fine and I'm going to try and keep it this way, by how I act. This is hard to do.

You're doing the best you can under the circumstances. You did the right thing in taking her to see a doctor. She seems fine, that's what's important for now. Your next step should be making certain that nothing like this happens again.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2013, 11:52 PM
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Christ almighty. I hope you hold everything in check and are calm and straightforward with the relevant person on Monday, and then once you have the information you need, find that person's one-over-one and go up one side and down the other tearing them to shreds for the worker's failure to act responsibly. That is a terrible thing to do to a parent.


Quote:
Originally Posted by dad2bandm View Post
Weird is putting it mildly.
It's complete, utter, f***ing incompetence, from an organization that I have no faith in, whatsoever. That is how I would phrase it. However, I hope to get some info and cooperation from them, so I won't tell them that, yet.

I asked them the same thing. Why was I not notified as her father, and why did I find out, from the comments of a 4 year old. So far, I have only been able to speak to the after-hours person, since it's the weekend. Their explanation is that it was just reported this last week. (I have no idea what that means. Reported Friday, or are we talking Monday?) That is a wide window. And they explained that the next steps are notifying parties, I was just not notified yet - apparently. Apparently, I won't have more info from them, until Monday, but I'm supposed to talk to the "new" worker on this already open file, then. Because apparently, whoever was already on it, is off on vacation next week?

I found it difficult to remain in-check, speaking to them, but I did.
So far, they only told me it was reported by a "counselor" - was the term used. I don't know more than that...Monday I'm supposed to be able to get more details.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2013, 02:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post

I would never use the term "half", to her he is her brother. If you had kids with some one else would you tell your daughter to go play with her half-brother or sister?? Probably you would use the term sister or brother.
I just wrote that here for context. Obviously we don't use that term in reference.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2013, 04:47 PM
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Perhaps something to consider here, is if they were BOTH your kids, or yours was the older child rather than the victim, what would you want to see happen?
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2013, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
Instead of "half", how about "step"...is that a better reference then? Everyone who is not biological to a parent / guardian / kid, are known to use the ubiquitous "step" word
Because "half-brother" means one thing, and "step-brother" means an entirely different thing.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 09-08-2013, 10:49 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oink View Post
If a child and a father / mother was talking about a non-biological child, the way in which they will describe the child would take on different terms
But if there is no biological link between the two children, there is only one (correct) way to describe the relationship. To wit: stepbrothers.
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