Emotional Abuse

[Worried Father]

Does emotional abuse qualifies as domestic violence? My daugther is married with an individual that has been emotionally abusing her for the past 3 years; they have a boy 2 and half; every time she complins, he tells her to leave the cramped apartment they jive in and to leave the kid; he also says that he has no intent to ever leave the appartment. He does not work and she alone supports the household (I do not know how He pays the mortgage). He also does not give any space and keep her under his watch! She tried to get Canada Family Benefits for her son, but her husband would not provide his social insurance number for that purpose. What would be the proper procedure for her to get out of this; a formal separation agreement is of course out of rhe question for her husband. HELP!!!!!!

[dadtotheend]

She could leave him and take the child with her.

[Worried Father]

Yes, that was also my advice to her but apparently he got her to beleive that it could be used against her in a court of law and that would result in him having custody of the child!!!

[billiechic]

NO, as long as she files for custody right away and leaves him a note or a message that she has the child and he is safe.

She should contact her local women's shelter or the assualted women's hotline for some proper advice. Emotional abuse is definitely abuse. I hope she can get herself and son out safely.

[FreeNow]

I don't understand. Is the apartment(condo) owned or rented? You talk about the husband paying a mortgage.
If he provides payments and has no income, is he involved in illegal activity?
Is there the possibility of your daughter and her child coming home to live with you until things are resolved?
There is no chance the father will get custody.

FN

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by FreeNow

There is no chance the father will get custody.

Why do you say that?

[FreeNow]

OK, highly unlikely that he would get sole custody.

FN

[Worried Father]

Originally Posted by FreeNow

I don't understand. Is the apartment(condo) owned or rented? You talk about the husband paying a mortgage.
If he provides payments and has no income, is he involved in illegal activity?
Is there the possibility of your daughter and her child coming home to live with you until things are resolved?
There is no chance the father will get custody.

FN

The condo is owned by both of them and out of the three years they have been together he worked only about five months. As to the money for the mortgage, I am not sure but I think that sometimes his father helps him financially. Because of his reluctance to provide his social insurance number, it occured also to me that may be some illegal activities. What to do?

[Mess]

Not giving an SIN wouldn't be any indication of "illegal activities" if you mean he's dealing drugs or something similar. Why would it be?

His name is on the mortage and deed. When the child was born the mother had to indicate the father's name on hospital records.

At most, he probably owes some back taxes and when he worked for 5 months it was likely under the table. This qualifies as "illegal" and I'm not defending such behaviour, but it's not something that puts the mother or the child at risk.

The daughter works, she must leave the house, and she has her own means of support. The father is seemingly then providing child care during the day. You don't indicate that the care has been poor or that the child has been in any danger.

On the outside at least, this is just reversal of gender roles. If this was your son, working and supporting the family, and his wife, staying home with the child and not wanting the husband to go out on his own nights, would you find this at all unusual, much less abusive?

Now, I'm not saying this is a great guy or that your daughter is happy. But you want bring up issues of abuse, and the situation you describe is just the same as 99% of working fathers/stay at home mums experience. This is the defense that your son-in-law will use if anything is brought up against him or if she tries to take the child away.

Unless you can show that the child has been mistreated or not properly cared for, he has as good a reason to ask for sole custody as any stay-at-home mother. Whether he gets it depends on whether the judge has gender prejudice or not, or whether you can show that he is being actively abusive, not just needy and emotionally dependant.

[dadtotheend]

Technically, he does not need to supply his SIN # to Mom. But he does need to file his taxes in order for the Child Tax Benefit to be paid.