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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 01-16-2014, 11:04 AM
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Default DV Conviction

The STBX and I were in Criminal Court on the 14 th.

I testified, he testified. I was expecting a cross-examination from the defense lawyer who has a reputation of being somewhat aggressive - to my great relief she asked me no questions.

Long story short version, the STBX was found guilty of all charges since the police report itself was beyond any reasonable doubt.

  • The restraining order has been extended for another 3 years.
  • the STBX must undergo mandatory anger management therapy.
  • he must report to a parole agent on a regular basis.
  • DNA provided so his info can be added to offenders registry (Quebec)


He was given no jail time - which is a good thing as the Judge said at sentencing:''Mr XXX nothing would please me more than to send you to jail for a vacation, but in doing so I would be putting Mrs XXX in a precarious financial position and ultimately preventing you from obtaining gainful employment. If I ever have the unfortunate occasion of seeing you in court again for whatever reason, I will personally make you regret it''.


Now for my questions, will this conviction have any bearing on the outcome of my divorce settlement? Could this make the process go any faster? Will this conviction make any difference when I go to trial as the STBX's credibility is in question?


To my way of thinking, this will only make the STBX want revenge against me ... I did the right thing by pressing charges but I fear his wrath (at least in a legal sense).


Would appreciate comments from those who have been down this path. I haven't seen my divorce lawyer yet and any advice would be welcome.
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Old 01-16-2014, 02:55 PM
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Congratulations, Janibel! I have no idea of whether this will speed up the divorce - but I'm glad you got such a clear and unequivocal message from the judge, plus having three years of a restraining order must make you feel a bit more secure. Your ex needs his ass bitten by karma, big time. Glad to hear it's happening.
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Old 01-16-2014, 04:02 PM
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Thank you Stripes, you're very kind. It is a relief that it's over and done with. I was nervous about going to court and like so many others have posted in this forum - it is very business-like and efficient.

The outcome was fair and I'm very happy that the STBX will be getting some therapy - for the sake of our son at least. Anything that will help him to be a better father is good news to me
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Old 01-16-2014, 04:05 PM
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I'm glad things went well for you.

Hopefully he now fully realizes what has happened and takes the therapy seriously. As we all know you can't force someone to get better. Hopefully he sees this as an opportunity for self improvement.
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Old 01-16-2014, 04:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
I'm glad things went well for you.

Hopefully he now fully realizes what has happened and takes the therapy seriously. As we all know you can't force someone to get better. Hopefully he sees this as an opportunity for self improvement.

Thank you FB! I'm very relieved that I had my day in court.

It's ironic that he will be taking the very same group therapy that I had suggested he go to years ago - before the marriage completely fell apart. I am certain that it will do him some good, but if it doesn't - it's no longer my problem thank God
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Old 01-17-2014, 09:35 PM
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nodoubt he deserved it

however, the system doesn't treat us all the same, prejudice lawyers whom believe men are the root of all evil , or perhaps men are unable to look after children seek out judges whom are cut from the same cloth.

did you know 'best interests of the children' means lawyers can meet with judge without your council present !

did you know a lawyer can select and put you in front of a judge they know
leans one way.

did you know judges in highest courts are selected by politicians the (cough) pillars of our communities.

the command structure on this website wants you too believe that family law is based on precedence, its not true, a fathers lawyer may dog it ( lay down do as little as possible ) where 'as if defending a mother may become adversarial.

I have talked face to face with fathers , just accused of DV is enough to separate fathers from their children for +6 months.

I recently spoke to a father named 'Darrel', his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan (11 stiches) , she called the police and claimed he was abusing her - blood down to his waist the police took "HER" away for a change - within 2 weeks she tried for custody and house with expensive lawyer = 'denied' , she went to shelter whom aligned her with right judge and within 3mths kids were hers.

the system is corrupt , I ( an engineer ) observed it at work first hand, my family survived DV and then was "raped" by lawyers, read http://www.wheretheylie.com for some insight into how fathers are treated.

my advice to all fathers out there, find yourself a lawyer by reference from other father, don't make mistakes I and million others made

god bless you all
pokeman

Last edited by pokeman; 01-17-2014 at 09:44 PM.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:00 PM
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Pokeman: Thank you for your honest post. I will certainly read your previous posts. I'm sure your situation is complicated.

I think the good thing about this site is that people are free to post as long as they obey the forum rules. With that said I will certainly review your previous posts as well as the recent link provided in your post.

BTW while I am a female, late 50's (SS recipient who doesn't 'get much' nowadays) I hope that you would agree that everyone has a different experience to talk about. Therefore it would not make much sense to generalize the way you have done in your post would it?

You obviously have lots to get off your chest and many issues that you are not happy with.

Why don't you start by telling us what happened? I would appreciate CanLII case number to corroborate.

Last edited by arabian; 01-17-2014 at 11:08 PM.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:05 PM
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Arabian, the guy obviously has issues. I'm not sure encouraging him to expound on his extreme views of the justice system here is in his best interests, and it takes away from the significance of what Janibel has achieved (which is how this thread started). If he wants, he can start his own thread.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:11 PM
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Good point Stripes. He referenced a journalistic article but it would be helpful if he could corroborate it.

Perhaps the moderators could start a new post?

I agree that this does indeed detract from Janibel and I apologize.
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Old 01-17-2014, 11:30 PM
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been there done that arabian

usually your groups response is "prove it !"

and then even if numbers are provided from
credible source ( see website )
its "give me your personal info"

sorry arabian you'll have to get more
sophisticated trying to discredit, too
many of us know too much

here's how we cut thru the bullsh1T

fathers, look up and down your street
see whom the children are with , ask
family and friends whom got the children
ask the father about violence against them
they will find the truth

it could be this man deserved how he was treated

you don't seem concerned the OP is telling the world "white collar" abuse by a man doesn't get punished cause he wont be able to pay- seems anyone up on justice be all over that - get your priorities straight for "mankind" or does the "man" in mankind offend you
LOL

seems this man got off otherwise women would suffer from lack of $

figure it out people .....
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