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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 07-18-2012, 01:18 AM
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Default custody.. question 8 violence

my ex has filed an application for sole custody amongst other things. I am preparing my answer and will also be seeking sole custody.

on question 8 it asks if I am aware of any violence or abuse that should be considered. During the marriage there was an incident with my ex where she was trying to get me to fight her (she is very confrontatiional).
In this incident she kicked and hit me along side my head while holding our 6 month old.
I left the house and drove to her families house and was very upset. Her sister was very supportive and said she was sorry I was going through this and shared similiar stories of her being violent. my ex later apologized said it would never happen and it was discussed in marriage counselling. she never was physically abusive again, but was definately verbally abusive.

She had also told me that during her first marriage her husband was passed out on the bathroom floor and she grabbed him by the hair and banged his head off the floor.

also in her parents home her and her brother got in a fight and she grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the wall. again she told me.... I did not witness.

last week she told me she was going to punch my gf in the head while we were in front of the children.


should i document these incidents in my report or is it hear say because reports were not filed. even without reports she would have to lie in court to deny.
also should i contact ex husband to hear his side of event?

thanks
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Old 07-18-2012, 02:20 AM
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Hi David: Sounds like a "he said she said" sort of thing. Stick to facts and what you know to be true and, most importantly, relevant. Even if you had people sign affidavits it would likely amount to nothing without police reports [IN MY OPINION]
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:22 AM
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Originally Posted by arabian View Post
Hi David: Sounds like a "he said she said" sort of thing. Stick to facts and what you know to be true and, most importantly, relevant. Even if you had people sign affidavits it would likely amount to nothing without police reports [IN MY OPINION]
Or unless the clinician (marriage counselor) took notes and recorded the incident in their notes or can be called as a witness to the admission as a third party.
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Old 07-18-2012, 03:24 AM
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Originally Posted by davidm View Post
also should i contact ex husband to hear his side of event?
If they went through a divorce through the courts you can always locate the file and obtain a copy of the materials. It isn't uncommon for someone to do this. The ex may have filed affidavit materials sighting abuse etc... You just need to know what jurisdiction the proceedings (if there were ever any) it all happened in.

You have to be careful not to be seen as gathering "negative advocates".
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