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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 12-12-2011, 08:35 PM
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Default Can I keep him home?

My kids went to their dads this weekend and came home terrified. My ex threatened to cut our 4 year old sons weewee off with a pair of garden shears (because our son put his hand down his pants). The children tell me ex was snapping at sons pants just inches away and that my daughter was punished for trying to help her brother.
My son is so scared he had nightmares last night. He is supposed to go to see his dads alone on Thursday and he is terrified.
Am I overreacting or what do I do?
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Old 12-12-2011, 08:41 PM
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is this the only incident in 4 years that would make you not trust them? If there are other concerns I'd probably call a professional of some sort to ask their opinion. Child protective services, or counsellor. Then maybe the father and his gf can be spoken to and advised that this isn't a good parenting method. It's hard to say really because if he's been a great dad all along until this one incident, then I would just talk to the father. Sometimes children percieve things differently than what actually happened but at the same time they can't be ignored.
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Old 12-12-2011, 08:53 PM
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This is the kids third accusation this year and the school has called CAS on my ex once(he has no gf) The kids are in Art theoropy at the local womens shelter but they are so overwhelmed they are lucky to get one visit a month. I'm torn I don't want to call CAS and have them think I am abusing the system but I can't ignor what my children are telling me.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:28 PM
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Well, then I would call CAS. You aren't abusing the system...that is what it's there for. It's not like you are lying. You just have concerns. You can even say to them..."I don't know if I'm over reacting but my son said _________ and I need advice on what to do." They may tell you just to talk to him. I'm not sure what they'll do but as a parent I think it's your job when your child tells you something to at least advocate for them. Seek out answers and have any issues dealt with.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:36 PM
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Yah, I'll be calling the CAS worker in the morning. I'm not supposed to contact my ex nor do I want to. I'll leave it up to them to decide if it's worth looking into.
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:40 PM
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Get to your family doctor immediately, explain, and let him/her assist as well. I believe he/she would also have to call CAS
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Old 12-12-2011, 09:44 PM
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My family doctor will take weeks to get in to see.
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Old 12-12-2011, 10:35 PM
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mammaMouse
No you are wrong. Doctors ALWAYS have an emergency appointment system to allow emergency type issues to be seen often "today". It is in how serious is the issue and the doctor must be in but otherwise do not take no for an answer.

My relationship may be no the norm - but I have my doctor's email and can contact him directly when it is warranted - I do not abuse this previlege but he did say he gets 100 plus a day and he scans the senders.....he said if he sees mine - he opens mine before any other. I asked..... he said because when your name is there you have a big issue - worth looking at.

So do not take no from the reception - move to the nurse then take your child and plain just go to the office - if you are concerned enough would that not warrant your going everyday until you do get in???? (hope it doesn't get to that)
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Old 12-13-2011, 08:40 AM
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What will my doctor be able to do that CAS can't? My son has no injuries.
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MommaMouse View Post
My kids went to their dads this weekend and came home terrified. My ex threatened to cut our 4 year old sons weewee off with a pair of garden shears (because our son put his hand down his pants). The children tell me ex was snapping at sons pants just inches away and that my daughter was punished for trying to help her brother.
My son is so scared he had nightmares last night. He is supposed to go to see his dads alone on Thursday and he is terrified.
Am I overreacting or what do I do?
First of all before you keep the child away from his father you need to make sure you've asked yourself this question. Do you really believe your ex would chop his weewe off? Second how accurate are the stories coming back and lastly are you being truthful with yourself for the reasons for keeping he child away from his father?

I am not condoning fathers alleged words to your young fellow but I am wondering with the extremism of what's being alleged that maybe you should talk to ex first and see what his reply is. Also if there is no documented history of violence...cant remeberd if you said there was or not...then I would have to ask what makes you think he would actually go through with it?

I would take the others advice in here before denying access. I would also talk to dad and express your concerns. Cas will ask you if you've talked to dad about these concerns first...there are reasons for this.
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