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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #31 (permalink)  
Old 01-22-2013, 07:03 PM
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caranna - I think it is a very good thing that you have the courage and fortitude to share your experiences with others. I am happy that you are in a safe place now.
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  #32 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2013, 12:44 AM
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I have now watched the video and nothing surprised me. The comments from the cop were even more priceless.
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  #33 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2013, 03:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
Have not watched the video yet (blocked)

I have been physically assaulted three times since separation.

The first time she admitted to striking me on the phone to the 911 operator.

The second time she claimed I backed her into a corner and it was self defence.

The third time she jumped on top of me trying to steal my personal cell phone from me a mere 2" from both my kids. I left the room with her chasing me (recording the whole thing) she then entered the kitchen and kept hitting me trying to grab the cell phone from me.

The first time we were still trying to work things out and I told them I did not want to press charges. Which according to the rules below is not permitted.

The second time the cops clearly believed her story and I had no evidence to prove otherwise.

The third time I had the whole thing on video. The two officers (one male and one female) refused to even look at it or conduct an investigation contrary to their own policy.

Family Violence - Peel Regional Police



I was given appropriate advice here after the last incident but didn't want to escalate the situation further.

Which reminds me I have yet to retrieve the report for the last incident. I will do that this week. Depending on what's in the report I may file a complaint although they may ask why it took me so long.

The whole incident was recorded on my cell phone (video) I also have the whole thing including the 911 call (one side obviously) and the entire discussion with police on my personal audio recording device. I never offered the audio since I didn't want them to know I was recording the whole conversation with the police as well.

One thing I know without a doubt is if it had been reversed I would have left in cuffs.
something you might want to lodge a formal complaint. also it wouldnt hurt to put this in court.
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  #34 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2013, 11:34 AM
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Hell, don't worry about it Caranna, as long as you contribute something to the main topic as you have. Piggyback this thread as much as you need to point out the serious problems of abuse, I just ask to keep in mind it is gender neutral, that is what the video clearly demonstrates. Sorry, the video actually demonstrates that when assault happens to a man it is not even seen as violence by most, even a cop.




Yes, and when a woman says it too, she may also follow through. Or she may kill the children to get back at you. Violence is depressing anyway you read it, man on woman, woman on man, etc. etc.
Thank you Baldclub. You're very kind and generous. I feel the time isn't right to post my story here. I haven't even told people at church why I left him...I suppose it's because the people who knew him found his persona so engaging it's probable some might find his abuse hard to believe. He was a different person in public. Actually he was a different person soon after we married. Marriage sealed the deal.

I realize I don't have control over other peoples' thoughts but it's very hard to tell my story just the same. When I told my story to victims and other understanding people, they totally got me...they understood.

Btw, I have compassion for abuse victims regardless of gender and life styles.
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Old 01-23-2013, 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by SynGreis View Post
something you might want to lodge a formal complaint. also it wouldnt hurt to put this in court.
I requested the official (censored of course) police report this morning. Freedom of information requests can take up to 30 days and cost $5.00

I'd like to see how it was written up after the fact. The other reports had a lot of insinuated blame put on me.
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  #36 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2013, 05:01 PM
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Good luck in your quest, FB_. You're not alone.
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  #37 (permalink)  
Old 01-23-2013, 05:07 PM
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Good luck in your quest, FB_. You're not alone.
Thanks.............
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  #38 (permalink)  
Old 01-24-2013, 09:30 PM
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I was in a similar situation.

My wife assaulted me and I called the police for help. I was hoping they would ask her to leave and cool off, but due to my injuries they had to arrest her. She was ordered away from me, the children and home until she finished counseling.

A year later she assaulted me again, but this time she threw the phone at me saying "call the police, I'm ready for them this time...". So I called my family and got out of the house. When I returned to discuss separation, she told me she would not let me see the kids again if I ended it. I then took my cell phone and recorded the conversation, where she admits to multiple attacks on me, always yelling/frustrated with kids, threatening to kill herself and the kids, and threatening to leave the country with the kids"... I also got her to acknowledge that I was a great dad

Thinking I was safe with the recording, I somehow let her convince me to try one more time for the sake of the kids. Sure enough, a year later she assaulted me again. I tried hard to get her to agree to separation, but she again refused. This time I went to the court and got all the papers. She found them and finally told me she was ready to talk separation. I obviously was happy... finally...

The next day she was gone, with the kids, their passports and their belongings. With no response from me, my family, or the police, the courts gave me an emergency order to have the kids returned and a restraining order against my ex. The police finally tracked her through cell phone signal at a Women's Shelter 6 cities away. Because she was in a shelter, the police could not enforce the orders. I received amended orders, but they could still not enforce them.

2 weeks later, she finally agreed to return the children. This is when I found out that she told the kids that I sold the house and moved away, and that they were going to a new school now.

We're now going through the divorce process, and I'm constantly the one trying to defend myself from her claims that I was abusive towards her and the kids, and she was compelled to flee the home...
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  #39 (permalink)  
Old 01-25-2013, 12:14 AM
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What to do when the police want to talk to you - The National Blog
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