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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 01-19-2013, 01:10 AM
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Hadenough, what did you think of the video in the original post?
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Old 01-19-2013, 06:28 AM
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Interesting read here The teacher, the hit man and the questions that remain : Stephen Kimber between Michael Ryan and Stephen Kimber detailing some of the case that led to the Supreme Court ruling.
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:02 AM
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Thx for that PHM, and no Baldclub I haven't seen the video link yet b/c they won't open on my phone (?) But when I'm next at my desktop, I will check it out and comment. I have seen a few like what you are describing, but maybe I'm thinking of an old episode of "Cheaters" lol or something like that.

I once saw my friends (now ex-gf) attack him - he just blocked her and eventually restrained her. She was prone to outbursts like that. I always thought she was fortunate to not get laid out b/c she thought absolutely nothing of attacking violently when she had a few drinks in her.
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:50 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wretchedotis View Post

If you (as either a man or a woman) are willing to give your 'pwer' away, then it will be taken.
I agree with this statement. I allowed my power to be taken away and therefore take responsibility for my actions or non actions with what happened in my marriage.

I watched this video and I think its appalling that so many people walked by. It is just as wrong, regardless of gender. I have been at the end of the assault with others watching and nothing was done, no one intervened or called for help. It only made me feel like it was deserved and socially acceptable. I gave my power away further.

I think regardless of gender, if society does nothing, it only hurts the person at the end of the assault further. This video made me feel ill.
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Old 01-19-2013, 12:02 PM
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I saw it. Interesting but not all that surprising. Definitely a double standard. Even the cop (off duty) admitted to that. So, like the ABC show goes "What would you Do?"
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Old 01-19-2013, 12:11 PM
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If I saw something like that happen, first thing I would do is pull out my phone and start recording. I would do that in most instances. If I needed my hands, like to apply first aid or help in another manner (to stop a really violent crime for instance) I would hand off my phone to another bystander if possible.
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Old 01-19-2013, 12:25 PM
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The fact remains, the woman being the abuser is far less likely to be intervened upon, reported and even if reported: less likely to result in charges being laid.

There's a few things that make up the dynamics of the entire scenario, but in the final analysis it is a huge double standard, more than anything else.

What reactions do you suppose people would have if it were two men? Or two women? The only scenario I can think of where MOST people would intervene, would be if it were a man or woman, abusing a child/elderly person of any gender.

Last edited by hadenough; 01-19-2013 at 12:27 PM.
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Old 01-19-2013, 12:38 PM
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What would you think of someone who was severely physically assaulted and kept it secret for decades?
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:01 PM
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@Caranna: I would think that person was very afraid, very intimidated, paralysed in a sense: can't see a way "out."

That person has lost their focus and their entire concept of themselves. Marginalized, treated like garbage to the point of not being able to see the forest for the trees. That person is lost. Like walking dead.

What matters most, is getting out/getting away.. What do you think of that person?

Last edited by hadenough; 01-19-2013 at 01:05 PM.
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Old 01-19-2013, 01:25 PM
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I was that person. I'm safe now and a lot stronger.
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