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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 03-30-2010, 03:10 PM
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Default Advice for Obtaining a Retraining Order

Long story short, my wife and I are not currently together but live under the same roof. She was dating someone but the relationship is over. The guy she was seeing was never allowed in our house out of respect for me and the kids.

Lately he has been calling the house repeatedly, making threats of violence, started a fight with me in front of my house (on my property), parks in front of our house to try and look through the front door from the road. He has sent text messages to my ex detailing where in the house we are to what we are watching on tv etc etc. Very creepy stuff. My oldest soon is scared of him and I'm worried that one day things may get very ugly.

I've contacted the police and really when it comes to someone trespassing on your property, your putting yourself at the risk of getting in trouble if you try and remove them yourself. The neighbors realized something was fishy one night when he kept circling the block and called the police. The police didn't scare him at all, he actually waited for them to arrive and the police didn't seem to really care.

I really think a restraining order is my first step to resolving this. My ex has been telling him to keep away and so have I. He seems to think he is untouchable.

My concern with a restraining order is what if I can't get one? What if I go to court and he argues against the order? I seriously cannot afford a legal battle. I have been documenting every thing that has happened but I really don't want to pay a lawyer. Also, I have no idea where this guy resides because he recently moved...so how can he even be served with a restraining order?

Any help would be great.
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Old 03-31-2010, 10:26 AM
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You don't need a lawyer for a restraining order. You need to document EVERYTHING , including the impact on your children and ex, try to get witness statements from lawyers. Then you go to see a JOP and swear out your statement, then they may (most likely) from what you've written issue an order that would then be served to this wing-nut by the police, then there is a court date...I believe that they cannot come near you or family during this process until the court date where you can represent yourself...Anyway, this happened to my sister with a crazy ex-bf and she was successful, I hope you are as well.

I may have some of the above wrong, but she didn't use a lawyer
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Old 03-31-2010, 01:44 PM
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Does your STBX wife also want to get the restraining order? I'd think it would make it more likely to succeed if BOTH of you requested it (less risk of questions coming up about it being more related to a marital squabble).
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