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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 01-01-2009, 07:03 AM
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Default Access to the matrimonial house

My ex was charged for assults and is under the probation not to contact me directly and indirectly. He still accesses to the garage or the rented space of the matrimonial house I reside, but not to my apartment. His probation officer and he seem to think it is ok because the assets are not devided yet and he is still entitled for the house. Legal process is going very slowly and my lawyer thinks we should not do anything for now, but it makes me panic and sleepless for a few days everytime I find a trail of his presence. I had been paying the mortgage though our joint account since he left, but recently he closed the account and started collecting the rents. Now he is asking me to pay a rent or I will be evicted. We purchased the house during the marriage, but my name is not in the deed or mortage somehow. I wonder if I just should move out from here to end this chaos...any advice?
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Old 01-01-2009, 07:15 AM
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okay he is under probabtion not to contact you directly or indirectly but he has done that in order to ask you to pay rent?? Report him to the police for breaking his probation and they will put his ass in jail. Was the assult against you? If so then you should have some rights to have a restraining order against him so he has to keep away from you. as for the house, it was bought during the marriage so you have some rights there. As for the rent he is collecting from tenants, keep track of it because that is part of your money also. All os this is IMHO so before you do anything get some more advice from people on the board who are more versed in this stuff then me.


Good Luck
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Old 01-01-2009, 08:40 AM
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Things don't make sense here. Your post raises lots of questions.

Are you hearing that he is allowed to be about the house from the officer directly or through your ex? Why does he even have a probation officer? If the assault charge has not yet been heard in criminal court, he wouldn't have a probation officer, as they are assigned after a conviction has been entered and a sentencing for probation. I guess he could be on probation and have an officer for other prior criminal offences.

Beyond all that, why would a probation officer think it's OK for him to be about the house because assets are yet to be divided?! That doesn't trump a no contact order that protects your safety. There's no way a prudent probation officer would think that's OK.

I thought no-contact orders had some minimum distance (e.g. 500 metres) that he had to keep away from you. And yes, what is he doing breaching that order by speaking with you?

You say you panic and are sleepless. If you are fearing for your safety, that is a criminal matter, and the police should be involved to investigate a criminal harassment charge, which is a serious offence.

Your lawyer doesn't think you should do anything for now?! Is that from a family law perspective? At the least, consider an application for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home, which occurs in situtations where violence has been present and a no-contact order has already been made. Your lawyer should already have informed you of this.

As said in the above post, you each have a right to be in the marital home, so he can't have you "evicted", unless he were to get an exclusive possession order himself.

Last edited by dadtotheend; 01-01-2009 at 08:43 AM.
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Old 01-01-2009, 10:21 AM
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Ok, while the matter is in the criminal courts, you may have at least a no contact order. This order should clearly state no direct or indirect contact with you, which means he cannot use someone else to even pass you a note or a message. That being said, I am not quite certain how that works in your situation because of the other matters at hand.
No-contact orders do not always have a distance limitation. I have had both type on my ex's spouse. While her matter was in the criminal courts the order was to cover the direct/indirect contact. Once sentencing was set and a probation officer assigned, the criminal court included a portion that dealt with distance from residence.
I highly suggest that you go to the police station, have your documents on hand, ask them to clearly define what your rights are and what his are (if he has any at this point). You need to know whether or not you can have him arrested for being on or about the property. Do not assume that what his lawyer etc is saying is correct, speak to the police directly.
If the order is not enough coverage, ask the police about a peace bond, make certain that you state that you are in fear and you need protection.

Best of luck.
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Old 01-01-2009, 10:31 AM
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Under the Family Law Act you have the right to possession of the matrimonial home ie the right to continue to live in it. The only way this can be revoked is if the court orders it to be sold. You can not be evicted.
If you are married you also have the right to half it's net value.

FN
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Old 01-02-2009, 03:17 AM
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Thanks for all replys.It was encouraging to know that I won't be evicted and have a right to stay here.

I have to correct my sentence, but he was convicted for an assult (against me) has no contact order under one year probation (no distance limitation stated). The actual wording is "Not to associate, contact or hold any communication directly or indirectly with..."

I have not idea why his probation officer thinks it is ok for him to be in the house I live, but I wouldn't be surprised if he was manipulated by my ex who is super good at it. He considers my ex could enter the matrimonial house as long as he has no intention to contact/communicate with me. He also think he could communicate with me through the third person.(Is it indirect though?) So his messages have been passed through his parents or friends to me. As you guys sugguested, I will go to the police and clarify if he is not breaching the court order...
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Old 01-02-2009, 05:48 AM
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According to my ex's spouse's probation officer - if my ex were to pass myself or the children a note on her behalf (and she's aware of it - this gets tricky you see), then she is breaching the order.
For example:
-- if she gave information to someone and asked that another person forward the information on - court order breached
-- If someone provided me with information that she did not request to forward on, and they did it on their own without her request - court order not breached.
-- If she wrote her & my ex's name on gifts to the children - court order breached
-- If my ex wrote her & his name on gifts to the children - court order not breached

You have to be able to prove that he broke the indirect contact portion of the court order. With no distance limitation it gets even more tricky, and because there is a matrimonial home, trickier still. When there was no distance limitation on the first order, she could be in the driveway and she was not breaching it, but if she spoke to or waved to us she would be breaching it. This was why it was in the best interest of everyone that she be distanced from the residence - especially in assault cases.

As I said before, make item 1 on your list today a visit to the police department and find out about getting something that bars him from being near you or your home. There is not enough protection out there for domestic violence!
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeNow View Post
Under the Family Law Act you have the right to possession of the matrimonial home ie the right to continue to live in it. The only way this can be revoked is if the court orders it to be sold. You can not be evicted.
It can also be revoked via an order for exclusive possession of the matrimonial home.
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Old 01-06-2009, 07:54 PM
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I only figured out it's a dead end.....no one could difine what's including in "indirect contact", so no charge...the police think his conducts are not strong enough to arrest him and only advised me to get more specific in writting by the probation officer to show that he is breaching the order, but the probation officer refuses to do so saying that's not in his scope (Unlike Kimberley's case). Why does the court give such an obscure order ? What I learnd is there is no protection unless I protect my self at this point. Meanwhile, I am filing a motion for the exclusive possession of the marital house or support so I could move out.
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Old 01-06-2009, 09:15 PM
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In my case, I spoke to the probation officer during the time when the guilty plea was entered and the sentencing given (a pre-sentencing order). Because of the issues of being on the property while the matter was still in the courts, and being that it was felt to be a bit of a .. stab.. as though saying 'yeah, I committed assault but that doesn't stop me from sitting in your driveway so you can see I have freedom and can be so close you your home'
The probation officer filed the distance addition in the pre-sentencing order and it was added to the sentencing.
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