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Domestic Violence Dealing with abuse and violence. Getting support and help.

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Old 07-22-2011, 12:19 AM
Mominneed's Avatar
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Default Access with domestic violence

I need a vent and also advice if anyone's got something to share. I'll give you the short version but there is a TONNE of history so I'll try to keep it to the highlights.
-Separated 2 years ago, abuse in the relationship prior to separation which escalated at separation and since (threats of suicide, threats against me, and threats to basically abduct our young child - he's a permanent resident only in Canada)
-Restraining orders in place early on because of threats and harassing calls, supervised access ordered at that time.
-Despite restraining order, xh continues harassing me, driving by my home, stalking me at child's daycare, runs at my car twice in his car with child in my backseat. Eventually charged with criminal harassement and dangerous driving
-Unfortunately, judge agrees shortly after criminal charges to relax access somewhat because of x's complaints that he can't afford to drive to access centre and car is breaking down. Access biweekly supervised, and alternate bi-weeklys at community centre where community centre is responsible to make sure he doens't leave with child.
-community centre refuses so for last year family member has brought child and waited during visit
-Last motion, judge encouraged him to set down motion because criminal trial was in 2 weeks. Judge told us all (no order) that my family member needed to be there because of the situation. Criminal trial gets adjourned for unrelated reasons. Harassement is ongoing via internet so no hard evidence.
-Shortly after this court visit, xh calls police on me making false harassement allegations against me. 2 days later, yells at my family member in front of child and locks family member out of community centre and calls police. Tonight (1 month later) police show up at my house again saying he is complaining about this access at community centre

Sorry, that got long but wanted to make sure you all knew the real deal. So, I'm hoping to go on motion shortly to go back to ALL supervised access at the supervised access centre to get rid of all this stressful nonsense (stressful for me, child and my family members). Still getting paperwork together. Visit is upcoming on the weekend - do I have to send the child? I'm assuming I do. What can/should I do in the meantime to protect the child from this bs? Anyone want to give me their 2 cents on my success at this motion?
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Old 07-23-2011, 10:02 PM
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Well I'll share something... I doubt its what you're looking for. And please take it with a grain of salt - as he sounds like a bit of a loser.

But I do enjoy playing devils advocate too

Just maybe something to think about - maybe he gets so upset and worked up because he is forced to have 'supervised' access. Does he behave like that when he's alone with the kids? Is it really therefore necesary? I mean it sounds like there are problems at the exchanges, but other then that?

If he's cool when he's alone with the kids - maybe just try to change the exchange somehow to avoid conflict?

I just know I would be in a foul mood if I could only ever see my child in a supervised setting.
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