whats the options ?

[lovely mess]

So first Id like to say Hello ! Bear with me cause this could b long and if u need more info to help me out pls just ask !

So my boyfriend just split with his girlfriend around Christmas time and this is his little "situation".

They were together for about 6yrs off and on, first 2 yrs being great, yr 3,4 & 5 rocky and yr 6 pure hell. They lived together for the first 2yrs continuisly and then for the yrs 3 to 5 they had a few split ups and yr 6 he basically lived with his parents again like every other time they split up.

The first couple yrs she did work and made good money, she then went on workers comp for an injury at work where they paid for her to b re-schooled. He paid all the household bills and also was giving her money for everything totalling around $1000 a mth or whatever she figured she needed. Even when the would split up he would pay her money every month to keep her happy and try to help her get back on her feet. When her schooling was done she never found a job, didnt try to I mean why would she he was paying her to do what ever she wanted! I should mention the fact he is a truck driver and was only ever home for the weekends if that. He had bought his own transport and was paying it off himself as well as everything else.

First question ! How does he prove he wasnt living with her continuosly for 3 yrs to b considdered common -law ?

Second question - if she was collecting welfair for a single person when they split but he was still giving her $$ every mth to help her out is it something worth bringing up in court?

#3- since she thinks she needs spousal support even tho shes capable of working but wont how does that tend to play out? he makes around $180K a yr but its threw his buisness and after all expences he claims only $25 k a yr of personal income for his tax's and has for the last 5yrs hes owned the truck.

More background lol. All debts are in his name except her car but he is the co-signer on it. He is now in debt around $65 thousand to credit cards, bank loan, and buisness tax's for the last 3yrs. She ows 1yr on the car which he pays and the insurance anyways. he also owes another approx $10 thousand to well friends and family trying to help him out. He made the money she spent the money and when ur not home and dont see the bills coming in the mail and trust someone is paying the things they say they are with the money u r giving them but turns out their not, well this is the situation u end up in I guess lol.

Another tid bit of info ! She was charged in August 2010 for 2 counts of assult against him, OPP charged her after he went to them for advise and to make sure she was ok, she had been threatening suicide before and after the altercation. She was and still is addicted to meth and really needs to deal with alot of other life issues she has, and because of that says she is mentally un able to work.... Dr's say she fine.

She wants $1000 mth
, car paid for and insurance, vet bills paid for the dog that hes not aloowed access to lol, her car fixed and maintained. For 2 yrs minimum !

k so i think thats all thats important for now lol.

Thank You to anyone that takes the tme to read this and please by all means ask questions and give advise if u can.

And yes him and I are both well aware that he was a complete and total idiot for putting up with her for as ong as he did..... but thats wut u do I guess when u love someone!

[lovely mess]

Does anyone have any advise??

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by lovely mess

Does anyone have any advise??

Sure:

1.Spell checker

2.MYOB

[Mess]

In terms of determining if they were common law spouses or not, from what you say it seems so but it's not clear. Splitting up temporarily doesn't end the relationship. Your BF needs to show that he was maintaining a separate address for extended periods of time, for example changing the address for his driver's license, insurance, truck ownership, bank accounts, OHIP card, etc etc. If he can show that he held a different residence for more than three months at a time then there is something to argue about.

This alone doesn't do it. Especially because he was continuing to support her, he needs to show that there was no intent to maintain the relationship and that it was truly, in his mind and in his practical life (changes of address etc like I mentioned above) over. Then if they got back together later he considered this a fresh start. From your description it doesn't sound like it. Honestly, the trouble he will go through paying lawyers in court to try to argue that they weren't common law will exceed by far any amount of spousal support he will pay.

He should take this approach: Go to an accountant and review his expenses and make a detailed financial statement for his business. He should do this openly and honestly without exageration or else he is going to get her lawyer dragging this out even longer in court disputing his income. Show with facts and figures and receipts that his net after legitimate business expenses is $25k or thereabouts. I believe that his numbers are reasonable from what you say, a long haul trucker has very large expenses compared to income and he is still paying off his truck. But he has to show this with receipts and statements backing it up. Don't screw around with this.

She has been retrained; in what is she trained? Go through Craigslist and Monster.ca for jobs and get a list of a dozen positions she is qualified for, entry level and low end for that position, I can't imagine she would earn less than $12/hr and $24k per year in any job that required training, even at entry level. So you require that she be imputed an income of $24k in any calculations.

You base it on this and assert that any claim for spousal support is nonsense. He stops paying for anything, gets his name off anything that she using like car insurance or utilities or a car lease and cuts her loose completely. If her lawyer tries to send letter after letter with demands, well of course he is going to do that, but it costs her money every time she calls him, every time the lawyer sends a letter, and she has no case, if the numbers you are giving are even remotely accurate. But your BF should have an accountant prepare his financials, it is tax time, get it done and then a slightly more detailed expense sheet to keep on hand if the ex does something stupid like try to take him to court. Other than that, just return polite letters to her lawyer indicating that she is capable of earning more than he does and she is lucky he isn't seeking spousal from her.

[Mess]

Originally Posted by dadtotheend

Sure:

1.Spell checker

2.MYOB

But how can I resist someone with a user name like that?

[lovely mess]

Thanks Mess !

He has all of him paperwork in order to back up what his income is, all reciepts are accounted for. As far as disputing the common law relationship I dont think he will bother as like it clearly shows with his income to debt ratio..... he is broke and cant afford to drag this out.

again thank you

Dadtotheend ..... whatever, I cant b the worst speller on here ! this isnt the first forum I have ever posted in either and your comments kinda make me giggle lol, been awhile since Ive been treated like a newbie !

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by lovely mess

been awhile since Ive been treated like a newbie !

What are you talking about? Your BF split up with his former GF at Christmas. Unless he was cheating on her with you, doesn't that make you a newbie relationship wise?

You've been with the guy two months?!? Isn't that a little soon to be his therapist?? Shouldn't you be enjoying the honeymoon?

[lovely mess]

I dont think my past with him really matters but if you must know Ive known him forever. I was married to his best friend and was together with my husband for 11 yrs. My late husband past away with cancer last year and my BF was with us threw it all from the time he was diagnosed till the night my husband past away in hospital. My BF and I talked quite frequently about what was going on with my husband as well as his own relationship probems, I guess thats when we really created a bond with eachother. NO I was not sleeping with him or had any intrest in him as more than a friend to both my husband and myself as well as our 2 children. After my husband past away my BF was around quite a bit .... well when his job permitted, to help me out with the 2 kids as well as helping me complete a kitchen renovation that been on going for mths before my husband got very ill from treatments.

So is my relationship really a newbie relationship ? no not really, only the fact we are "together" now is new.

His now ex is the one that had on going relationships with multiple ppl when they were together.

By the way we cant enjoy our "honeymoon" so to speek till she is totally out of the picture and not harassing him for money every other day.

[billm]

Hey DTTE, your useful to useless posting ratio is dropping fast.

I think you need a hobby, or a life.

[blinkandimgone]

...or a new poll...