What should I be doing to protect myself in a potential common law relationship

[Mandygirl]

Hi,
I am hoping that I will be able to get some advice on my fairly new situaution.

I seperated from my husband of 28 yrs almost 1 year ago.
We agreed on a seperation agreement and divided the assetts quite amicably and I did not seek spousal support. We have a fairly good relationship as we have 3 young adult children.

I have met someone else and we have been spending almost every night together although we do both have our own residences. He rents, I own. We have been together for close to 1 year

Although I love this new man very much I feel as though I have to be very careful about what assetts I do own as I no longer have a well paid husband to rely on, I am independent.

I own 2 residences, work full time and earn twice as much as what my boyfriend earns, I have a substantial amount of RRSP's and I make sure I contribute monthly to my future for retirement, which is still 12 to 16 yrs away.
Because I earn more I willingly pay for the majority of things that I call luxury items, BF is not that attracted to material things and can take it or leave it. I have no problem with the way our relationship is now and it is possible that we may marry one day.

BF can retire in 2 years on a company pension though it's not a lot of money, he has no RRSP's.

I need to make sure that I don't get into a position whereby I can be sued for spousal support in the future, I know it sounds glum but I have to be realistic. I want to make sure that what myself and my husband worked so hard for is protected and will go to my kids in the future

Am I over reacting here? Any advice is appreciated

Thanks

[Mess]

If you are thinking you might possibly marry some day, you are asking for two different things.

I would say you look first at your situation now and be realistic. There's nothing wrong with you paying for "frills" but this is the way it will be. If you are fine with it, then that's great but it is the pattern that will keep going forward so make sure you are 100% fine with it.

If you move together common law you are possibly setting yourself up for spousal in the event of a breakdown, but of courst that would be years in the future. He would have no claim on your assets, but you want to be clear about the costs of your home and costs of upkeep, if he invests money, or labour and time into your house he could have a claim to be reimbursed later. That is only fair, but you should be aware and expect it and plan for it. Keep receipts for materials, repair costs, insurance, utilities, taxes. Pay for everything for the house out of one separate account you set up so that you can easily track costs and show instantly how everything was paid for, by you. Have an arrangement where you split groceries and split maintainence and be clear about ownership and liabilities. You would do well to have a written agreement about his occupancy and if you are seriously worried, an agreement regarding spousal support if you ever split.

If you marry he will have a claim for 50% of the mat home and you will split any gain in assets for the time you were married. You should also be open with each other about spending and debt loads. I would say that if you decide to marry you should be ready and willing to share your assets, otherwise don't get married. Marriage is a partnership, a full financial partnership. You already realize that of course, but if you don't want the partnership then don't remarry. If you do and you care for him enough to want to take care of him fiancially if necessary, then do marry. This is a choice you have to make. It would be possible to have a prenup but really if you don't want a financial partnership then don't remarry.

[walshch]

Get a Co-habitation Agreement made up, indicating how Property & Assets are to be divided if you seperate.

[pmmpa]

If you're in a common law relationship and you want to avoid creating financial obligations (e.g. support or dividing up your property) on yourself, you should consider getting a Cohabitation Agreement.

Under Ontario's Family Law Act, a cohabitation agreement will AUTOMATICALLY become a prenuptial agreement once the parties get married (unless the agreement says otherwise). That's why there are generally two types of cohabitation agreements: ones that terminate on marriage and ones that continue past marriage and essentially become a prenuptial agreement or marriage contract.

Finally, with respect to ownership and division of property, common law couples do not benefit from the equalization of net family property regime contemplated in the Family Law Act. In essence, property is divided along the lines of ownership, unless other legislation (e.g. Succession Law Reform Act) or principles of trust, equity or the common law apply. For example, a common law spouse could try to claim an interest in property of the other spouse based on the doctrine of unjust enrichment.

I have written a number of extensive blogs and eBooks about cohabitation agreements, prenuptial agreements, and marriage contract in Ontario. I also sell Cohabitation agreements, Prenuptial agreements, and Marriage Contracts (Ontario) which avoid creating financial obligations on the parties. These legal form packages are lawyer-prepared, customizable, and come with free guidance (video tutorials and written guides). All for a fraction of the price a lawyer would charge. Check it out...

[charlieb]

for godssake GET A COHABITAION AGREEMENT if you are considering living together..under new laws concerning common law your partener can most definitely get half of your property value.. a cohabitation agreement should be in place to protect both your interests.. granted they can still be challenged if he wanted to push it, it is still the best way to protect yourself if forsome reason things get nasty and he takes you to court.

[littleman]

for god sakes if it hasnt even been three years yet why bother???????? are you planning on having children in this relationship??? dont worry about it.......you said you dont live together so no worries if you arent and then the consideration doesnt come into play until you are living together continually for three consecutive years or a child enters the union..........dont waste money on lawyers and BS.......have fun and when you get closer to the three years then worry your head about it not until

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by littleman

for god sakes if it hasnt even been three years yet why bother???????? are you planning on having children in this relationship??? dont worry about it.......you said you dont live together so no worries if you arent and then the consideration doesnt come into play until you are living together continually for three consecutive years or a child enters the union..........dont waste money on lawyers and BS.......have fun and when you get closer to the three years then worry your head about it not until

to me it is better to be prepared ahead of time so each knows where they stand. Better to put do everything possible to protect yourself right from day one.

[littleman]

standing- you think someone should go out and spend 1000$ or what ever it is to have the agreement drawn up and what if that relationship doesnt last three years ..........doesnt make sense at all