She was awarded Sole Custody, time to appeal...help?

[billiechic]

Looks like you are going to have to have her need for counselling documented and then file a motion to allow counselling. The court CAN do this, they ordered my ex to consent to counselling in a temp order.

You can still take her to the doctor on your time, or she can go to a counsellor at school. If this is affecting her as much as you say it is, then there are ways to get her help without looking like a bad guy (which is how mom is trying to paint you). Your daughter needs to be strong enough to identify that this new schedule is emotionally traumatizing her and express it to someone outside her family (making her sad, or whatever she says to you)

Schools have groups for divorced kids and kids from alcoholic families (Rainbows, Al Anon etc). Just becasue you are NCP doesn't mean you can't brng up your concerns with her teacher and get them on board.

Just make sure they know this is about your daughter, and only that. It can't be about the appeal, or it isn't going to help. You need to focus on healing her from this divorce.

[logicalvelocity]

Good luck with your Appeal.

[riverbag]

Originally Posted by billiechic

Looks like you are going to have to have her need for counselling documented and then file a motion to allow counselling. The court CAN do this, they ordered my ex to consent to counselling in a temp order.

You can still take her to the doctor on your time, or she can go to a counsellor at school. If this is affecting her as much as you say it is, then there are ways to get her help without looking like a bad guy (which is how mom is trying to paint you). Your daughter needs to be strong enough to identify that this new schedule is emotionally traumatizing her and express it to someone outside her family (making her sad, or whatever she says to you)

Schools have groups for divorced kids and kids from alcoholic families (Rainbows, Al Anon etc). Just becasue you are NCP doesn't mean you can't brng up your concerns with her teacher and get them on board.

Just make sure they know this is about your daughter, and only that. It can't be about the appeal, or it isn't going to help. You need to focus on healing her from this divorce.

Thank you for the suggestions and I'll be sure to keep this about the children. Their Mother moved them in with her new boyfriend less than a month after the trial completed. My Daughter has said she can't sleep in the new house and wants to sleep at my place. She still wants to live with "Mommy and Daddy and not Mommy and (New boyfriend)". I am trying to reassure her that after a while things will be ok and that I will always be her Daddy. It's been almost 2 years since the split and she still wants things to be like they were, and the court and Mother keeps changing things. It's frustrating from my end as I've done everything in my power to maintain a consistent lifestyle for my 2 children. Anyway, I'm babbling, I'll stay focused on my children and keep them removed from the appeal.

[billiechic]

My daughter asked me again last night if mommy and daddy could get back together. It's been a year and a half. She's ALWAYS going to want us together, since that means she doesn't have to have only 1 of us. This is normal for every child of divorce.

[riverbag]

Originally Posted by billiechic

My daughter asked me again last night if mommy and daddy could get back together. It's been a year and a half. She's ALWAYS going to want us together, since that means she doesn't have to have only 1 of us. This is normal for every child of divorce.

I get that, and am working to ensure she knows I am never going away and that both of us love her very much.

[Teddie]

"The new order has me seeing them 1 day a week for 2 hrs, every second weekend and 1 5 min call every week.......plus I have no say in how they are raised."

That's BS and I feel bad for you. I have only been going through this stuff for a few months but it pisses me off to see this happen. The common theme seems to be 1) get the other kicked out 2) don't let them see the kids 3) trash their parenting and every aspect of them as a person 4) run their ass into the ground in court costs 5) alienate the kids 6) go for as much support as possible by using status quo to keep their access low and their payments high.

I wish the laws were different but as it stands the law allows the 6 points I list above to be a pretty good method for getting the kids and the money.

My situation turned out better as I settled on 50/50 access, but my ex definitely tried to pull off the same thing.

Best of luck to you.