Separation Agreement - Round 2
I had posted awhile ago with my ex's concerns regarding the custody of our son. Basically, I am not the biological father but have been there since he was 10 months old and he is as yet unaware of this. She stalled me on adoption, so I was not able to legally adopt him. She has a full custody order for him and the biological father has had no real interest in being a part of his life - including paying child support.
So now my son is 10 and we have a daughter who is ours biologically. Initially she didn't want to give me joint custody in the separation agreement because she felt that, by giving up her full custody order, it would allow the biological father to sneak in and stake a claim which he otherwise could not. On some sound advice from LV, it was my understanding that he could challenge the full custody order regardless, and so sharing custody with me shouldn't be a problem.
Well, she went to a lawyer and that lawyer has told her quite a different story. She claims that:
1) She'd be crazy to give up a full custody order for joint custody, as it would allow the bio father to potentially gain access rights.
2) The kids will be appointed their own lawyers by the family court to represent their interests.
3) In going after the bio father for child support, my son will need to be told his true parentage because he will have to be present for court procedings in which it is discussed.
4) There is no joint custody per se, and that one of us needs to have essentially full custody with access and responsibilities spelled out in the separation agreement.
I personally think she simply wants full custody and is spinning me a yarn to convince me to just roll over and give her what she wants. She claims that if there is some way to give me joint custody without giving the bio father any advantages in a custody challenge, that she will do so. I plan on taking her revisions to the draft agreement we had made to a lawyer to get an opinion, but thought I'd ask the experts here as well.
My personal opinion is that if she refuses to give me joint custody, then she forces me to go for full custody - making the whole thing nasty and expensive. I've been trying to avoid this from Day One, but I'm thinking its the route I may need to take.
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06-18-2007, 11:21 AM
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