question..

[browneyedgirl]

i just have a question..ive got court in january for custody of my daughter. i have defacto sole custody right now since my ex moved to BC and has limited contact w/me(texts once a week maybe). and was wondering what i will need to bring with me to court? do i need any letters of support in my favor, or do i just tell the judge what my ex has done since we broke up and previous to that?

[Mess]

If you have any kind of documentation that actually shows your ex is in BC and is intending to stay there and has no interest in his daughter, it would be good to bring that.

For all the judge knows, he's just there for a week and has no idea you are going to court for sole custody. By which I don't mean to suggest you are dishonest, but in court it's better if you don't just claim that something is true, it is better to show that something is true.

From what you describe it's not so much about whether you are Supermom. You don't have to be perfect to have custody. If you have letters backing up what you say about your ex being absent and indifferent, that is better. Heresay (a letter that says "Browneyedgirl has been telling me over and over...") isn't that great a backup, but if a friend or relative was in the room when your ex said he wasn't going to be involved, that is better.

All this probably won't be necessary. If you've served your ex and he hasn't responded and isn't contesting you then you will get custody.

And all that being said, it's no harm to have a parenting plan typed up, or at least some notes about what your plans are for daycare, school, finances, babysitting, etc.

[browneyedgirl]

Thanks for all the help! I dont have any documentation except text messages saying hes in BC (his cell #is also a BC number as well).He lived with my father and i and im sure my dad will write a letter of support if need be just incase i need any proof that my ex was as hands off as he could be. I told my ex after he left that i was filing for support and ive saved all the texts hes sent me and ive sent him thus far. should i print them and bring them also?

[browneyedgirl]

he also told me hes got an address for him, but isnt giving it to me "til later" as he said. hes not being very co operative at all.

[browneyedgirl]

just an update. today i went to talk to a lawyer and was told i basically have to wait til i get an address from my ex and go to court in the meantime. i will have to go back since i likely wont be able to serve him before court in jan. he apparently will have rights to see her, but if he doesnt come around in say 3yrs or so he will have to file for access if he hasnt exercised his right to see her before then(though im not even sure i want him having access to her due to his emotional abuse, and anger issues).