Okay what next?!?!

[Zydeco]

Okay heres the story in a nut shell!

Have dated myt EX now on and off for 15 + years. 5 years ago this July we purchased a house together. I had RRSP money and used about 6700 bucks for a Down Payment. But I took out 17000 to help us pay off bills and stuff. Also helped Her lease a new car (my name is not on her lease, i just helped with a down payment) We have had issues on and off for the whole time we were together in the house aswell. Last night she told me she was going to call the cops because of a silly and stupid thing I did on Sunday night. I shouldn't have done what I did but I was hopefull that there might have been a comming resolution to our problems.....Anyway, now I have choosen to move out of the home to ease her mind and to start the process of selling the house. So here are my questions....

1. What do I have to continue to pay? Mortgage of course, but hydro bill? Water bill? - My name is on them so...I think I am kind S.O.L.

2. Because we are common law whats the deal with our things? I have a number of computers (I was a computer tech for over 10 years) I gave her a computer about 1 year ago and she threw it on the floor and destoryed it. I feel as though at this point I have done my part. She still thinks I owe her a computer. Any ideas?

3. We have a dog that we purchased together....should I just let her have him?

4. Am I right for leaving the house?

5. Will I be screwed in the long run?

Those are a few of my questions I don't really care about other stuff but....I just want to know about a few of these things....

Thanks for all your help....

[dinkyface]

You can just notify the utility companies that you are no longer living there, and are terminating your service contract. Your ex would then have to resume services under her own name.

[Mess]

As far as the house goes, hopefully your name is on the title. In either case, moving out doesn't screw you, but see a lawyer and real estate agent asap.


Your things are your things, hers are hers. If you gave her a gift, then it is hers and vice versa. If she smashed something of her own, regardless of whether you gave it to her or you were yelling at her at the time, it is her problem.

1. You can cut the bills, if you had kids or your ex was a dependant then you could get screwed, but if she works then she can pay for her own bills.
2. You should immediately make a list of all your possessions, the ones you brought into the relationship or bought by yourself. Make a second list of things you bought together. Take photos if you can. Present copies of the lists to her. Pack your stuff and move it out as soon as you can, make sure you take nothing of hers, and only take joint items if she agrees and signs off on the item on the joint list. If she gives you a problem about any item, photograph it, itemize, and tell her you will work out a cash value during the equalization process, it's not worth fighting about now. Do all this with a friend there with you, not alone, and if possible record all conversations. It doesn't matter if you think she will never do anything (accuse you of theft, assault, etc), cover your ass always, especially since you are recently in high conflict.
3. I have read stories about people spending tens of thousands of dollars fighting over custody of the dog. It's up to you how badly you want to fight, or if you could just get another dog.
4. If there was already "an incident" then you are right to leave because there will just be more incidents.
5. In the long run we are screwed. Dust in the wind.

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by Zydeco

Last night she told me she was going to call the cops because of a silly and stupid thing I did on Sunday night. I shouldn't have done what I did.....

You don't say whether you have kids, but I'm guessing you don't. If you don't, well then get out and settle up later as Mess says.

If you do, then that stupid thing might be relevant. What was that stupid thing that you did?