New to this and scared

[Doris]

Hi to all
My partner of three years wants to pay off the mortgage on my house valued at $280,000.00 and the mortgage is $52,000.00. He wants to be put on tittle as half owner and wants all our money put into one pot also the child support I receive, I find this a little strange as he then would contribute as much or as little as he desires, in a written agreement he wants all this written up but does not want to be responsible for certain bills. He said that he doesn't want the obligation to be accountable for not paying his share. I am with holding going forward with him paying the mortgage off because I have a very bad feeling but he says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But then he said that he would leave if he had to continue paying me $1,000.00 in rent.

[logicalvelocity]

Doris,

There appears to be significant on the line. Keep your property in your sole name. If HE loved as he says he does then it shouldn't matter if he was on title to said property.

lv

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

I agree with LV, if he loves you the ownership of the house won't matter.

[Doris]

Thank you for the feed back! he said that he doesn't want to pay into something that is not his, he also mentioned about repairs that he doesn't want to do because it's not his house, I stated that he lives here also but he said that if anything happened he would not see the money that he has put in. He also said that giving me a monitary gift was also support I told him no a gift is a gift you can't give a gift and then say it's for support. His response was oh well I'll just give you $50.00 for a present than and put the rest into the house

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

Doris, this guy makes me nervous, is he kidding around when he talks like that? If not, he sounds callous. Is this his second time around too? Maybe he lost everything the first time and is scared too. I'm not condoning his behaviour in any way, just a thought from a neutral party. I’d be a little concerned if he couldn’t get past a previous relationship that went bad. I wouldn’t want to be the subject of a persons revenge/scorn.

[Doris]

Well he has built three houses and had everything paid off was married twice and left his second wife for me. At the time we met I was not looking for anyone, he told me what he was giving up to be (also showed me his log home)with me which was his decision I never asked for him to do this. So he has moved around and been through the different marriages but me only married once for 17 years to an abusive man the man was a gambler and we had to remortgage this house twice. I don't want to marry again and am comfortable with myself.

[today]

Doris,

You really have too much to lose to simply put another persons name on title, but to be devils advocate for a second, to try to see his point of view.

If he is paying into the house each month I would assume he feels he is paying into your future security only should something happen down the road, expecting to simply be put on title, forget about it no way, did you ever think about allowing your partner to purchase part of the` property. This would allow you to invest that sum on your own, indepndent from your your partner as future security and allow him to gain in the appreciation of the property.

Geez financial issues are really difficult in releationships especially after once or twice burnt, for men and women.

I can tell I would not sign over half of my house for "love". You earned and payed for it so should ones partner. IMO.

Good Luck

[Doris]

Hello Today
How would I go about him purchasing property from me with out his name on tittle?

[today]

Doris,

I apoligize for the confusion. I was simply trying to bring another option to your dilema. I meant to say that one option may be that you sell half or part of your house to him thus allowing him to also pay into something that would be shared at a later date. Of course in this situation he would be on title but you will have recieved half value of the home and presumably invested this amount on your own. This is only one of a mulitide of options that would normally depending on the circumstances allow each to feel they are investing into something together. This would also allow you the share the every day costs of home ownership as well. Since you already own the property he would have to buy or pay into his share, not be given simply because you are in love. I am sorry my opinion did not come across clear at first. I can offer my own personal opinion as well, I would not feel comfortable paying into a home with a partner for an extended period of time knowing full well that if the relationship disolves I have nothing. Of course I would not expect my partner to just put me on title because we are together either, I would hope to have the opportunity to pay into my fair share to be real partner.