My situation - she was arrested for domestic violence.

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by sad_dad

Doctor!?

The one family doctor I found in Kitchener who was accepting patients (there's a shortage) she told me not sign up because he "looked like a rapist".

I know how hard it is to find a doctor in Kitchener, I live there. Go to one of the walk in clinics in town. They can help you out.

[billiechic]

She's still playing mind games with you. Follow your instincts..the real ones, they are right. Use every resource available to you. Get counselling and into a single parent support group.If you can't stand up to he, get your lawyer to do it. If he won't then you need a new one. You need someone hard-assed that is not going to let her get away with things anymore.

You have support here. I also walked away from an abusive and very manipulating spouse. I know you are second guessing yourself at every step. Nothing is going to stop that, but the fact that you are actually making decisions yourself shows just how much progress you are making. Be proud of yourself! If you need help, just ask.

[sad_dad]

Just wanted to update: we had our temporary motion heard.

My request was that I have the children from Thursday night (pick-up after work) until Monday night (or Tuesday morning, we went through some variations), so that the children were in daycare for Monday (sort of a transition thing) and I work from home on Friday.

The judge ruled that it is unreasonable for the children to be in daycare when mother does not work, stating that enough has changed in their life already. I advised that she needs free time during the week to seek help for her problem, the judge said Friday was good enough for that.

So I have the children from Thursday night between 6:30 PM and 7:30 PM until Sunday between the same time.

The judge was especially concerned that I had not let her see the kids - of course I had by that time, but at the time of filing the motion I hadn't, so it was good that I let them go. Her duty counsel had made this known but she did not hear him... he corrected her as she was explaining her ruling, but said that she still stands by what she is about to say.

Both our duty counsel advised us that we should see a variance on her release terms so we can communicate with my written revokable consent. They obviously could not come out and say it but I think they were trying to suggest that we've both told our respective duty counsels that what we'd like most is to reconcile and seek counseling for ourselves and together. From reading between the lines it sounds like she is aware that she has a problem and wants help and is changing her mind with regard to vaccinations, etc.

[dadtotheend]

Well at least you have some certainty about the kids' living arrangements now which must be a huge relief for you. The status quo that will develop from this will set you up for shared parenting so you don't have to worry about her moving the kids and you getting screwed. That said, you must still remain vigilant if she tries that in the future.

Good luck with your attempt at reconciliation. I sure hope she is sincere (even and especially to herself) about it though. Now that one huge stressor hurdle has been cleared, it's easy for people with these kinds of problems to settle back into their old habits.

I'm sorry to have been so hard on you in recent posts. I just wanted to be super-emphatic about how important it is to entrench your position and get endorsement from the court. This has been a very volatile time for you and your family. You did a great job under incredible pressure.

Way to go Daddy-O.

[sad_dad]

No apology necessary, really. I can appreciate the

I forgot to note that I got a police order in it, just incase things go haywire.

My plan now is, see if we can get the variation. If we can't before the case conference, then I'm going to request that things effectively stay the same, joint custody, etc. until we can get the variation. If we DO get the variation, but peace talks are not happening, then that itself becomes part of my case and I go from there.

[billiechic]

Sounds like you are being very reasonable. I hope for all your sake that she seeks help and make a genuine attempt to change. Glad you can be positive, but still protect yourself and the kids until she can prove herself. Good on you! Let us know how things go.