Mom Takes Away Child without Dad’s Consent – Seeking Answers

[Tayken]

Originally Posted by Acura

Thank you Tayken for your responses (BTW I wonder do you practice family law yourself by any chance?)

Nope. These are just my personal opinions I attempt to apply to materials I have read. As with anything on a message board check with a lawyer qualified in family law. You are facing a complex problem that can quickly turn into the 10% of ugly cases before the courts.

I can't stress enough as to the importance of having a solicitor who specializes in FAMILY LAW for a situation you are describing in your message.

Originally Posted by Acura

I think my fear, concern and confusion is that, on the one hand, we all know that one parent should not and does not have any legal authority to move out with kid without dad's consent. But on the other hand, some say that in real life mom has a 90% chance to actually be able to do it and even police don't care.

1) Investigate your "fear". Is it driven by evidence? Is the other parent *really* going to abduct the children. My advice is to reflect on what is driving your "fear" / "worry" first. Put the evidence together on what is driving your fear. If it is a one-off statement my opinion is to take it seriously and address it with the other parent. (But, to do it through a solicitor.)

2) Get a clinical psychologist if you can afford it. They can help you sort out the driving facts behind what is driving your "fear". Is your fear based on facts or a cognitive distortion. (I can't say if your expressed fear is but, a clinical psychologist can help you sort this out hence the recommendation.)

3) Once you have assembled the evidence to your "fear" you are expressing you can better communicate it both to the police and court WITH EVIDENCE and RELEVANCE. Avoid turning it into an emotional fact. Very hard to do in the heat of the moment. So take the time now to put it all together. Not after the event happens. If it never happens, then take it as a learning opportunity. If it happens, use the evidence and materials.

4) "Some say". Note that very important keyword. If we all lived our lives on what "some say" we would be no better than lemmings walking off a cliff. You do have rights under the law as a parent and find a good (or great) solicitor who understands this and will vigorously defend your position to these rights.

5) As for the police. You are tasked with a hard problem. Police hate and often do not get involved in domestic situations.

Originally Posted by Acura

Personally without any legal background I would intuitively think that since the child has been living in the house (regardless of how young s/he might be), the court should order the kid to be returned. Then the parents can start to sort out their stuff. But before there is any agreement or court order, no one should be allowed to move out the kid from her familiar surroundings.

Your parental intuition is correct. It isn't just fathers this happens to though. Keep that in focus too.

Now, as demonstrated in the Shaw decision sighted earlier the children wasn't to a full custody to the mother. It was a 50-50 basis. This is appropriate as prior to the stunt pulled by the father it is (as stated in CLRA/FLR/etc...) that parents have equal right to care for their children. So the resulting decision in my opinion (as demonstrated in Shaw) often isn't a return to the parent who remains in the primary residence.

There are a few caviots to this though. Jurisdiction for one. If the abducting parent runs to a unsustainable distance from the primary residence then, there may be an order to return stability. As stated before parents are welcome to live where ever they want but, if their decision is NOT in the child's best interests... The kids lives (schooling etc) shouldn't be disrupted because of this.

For example: Skalitzky v. Skalitzky

CanLII - 2010 ONSC 7150 (CanLII)

Good luck!