Just lookin for sum idea

[bertiespeed]

Hey just have a few question on what / if theres anything i can do in my situation i have ( ontario )

My wife well not married but been together for almost 12 years and 3 kids later .. She recently with in days has up and left me and the kids for another man ..We dont make lots of money and only rent a house through affordable housing together both names on lease ..She went to my bank and took all the $$ i had ( joint account ) and left me and 3 kids with nothin came bak 2 days later told me she found someone else and left again with out taking any kids and told me I had two weeks to find a place and she not commin back till im gone .. Is there anyway i can turn this around on her and stay and her leave or am i screwed .

Thanks in advance

[standing on the sidelines]

you have every right to stay there with the kids. She left on her own free will so she has no right to dictate who gets to stay there. She can get the new guy to help her get a new place.

Open another bank account in your name only and make sure that any direct deposits that yours have your new account information. Do not give her a chance to take anymore money from you.

She abandoned you and the kids so get your butt to a lawyer and get custody of those kids immediately. You have a really good chance of getting custody and CS from her.

Call the affordable housing people and explain the situation to them, it is better that you talk to them before she does. I am sure that they have had situations like this before and can advise you what to do in regards to the housing. Maybe they will let you break the lease that you have right now with her and redo it so it is just you on it.

I cannot stress how important it is to do this as soon as possible. You do not want to give her too much time to screw you over. As soon as you can talk to the housing people the better. Talk to the bank tomorrow and get an emergency order for custody of the kids.

[billm]

Sorry to hear that bertiespeed.

What do you want with respect to the children? Do think it is best that you have them most of the time? Maybe equal time with the mom, or maybe more time with the mom? Initially though, it seems best that they all stay in your current home with you. Later when things are stable you can change where/when the kids live if necessary.

When she told you to find another place, it seems she meant that you take the kids too as she said she was not coming back until you are gone - is that correct?

I know your situation is upsetting, but don't settle for anything less than equal time with the kids.

It is almost amusing that she suddenly leaves, does not deal with the kids, drains the bank account, and expects you to move out so that she can move in, even more bizarre if she expect you to move out with the kids....

Do both of you work? How old are the kids?

Don't move out until things are settled to your satisfaction, on paper, witnessed by a lawyer. Besides, she said she is not coming back until you are gone - so no rush!

Read as much as you can in this forum and other place - knowledge will give you power in this situation. Take care of your kids first!

Good luck

[standing on the sidelines]

good points billm but he wrote that she has given him two weeks to get out. I think she just was the place becasue of the cheap rent. So hard to get into a place like that I have heard from people. With the waiting lists etc. She probably know that she will have to pay market rent until she can get back into affoadable housing.

I think for right now he has to get the ball rolling and get custody of those kids so she doesn't take them who knows where.

[bertiespeed]

Hey and thanks .

When she left she took her oldest daughter with her from a previous relationship but left me with our 3 .We currently are not both workin she was on EI and i currently am on EI .. She has done this in the past but not to this magnitude as being taking money and not hearing from her for 2.5 days .. no she wants me to leave so she can come back and be with kids is what shes saying .kids are 8 ,5 ,3 . Ya thats what all my friends are saying is call housing to see what can be done as she left me why should i leave rite ?? And ya she dont want to leave cause housing is a long wait and geared to our income ..

thanks again