He Wont Leave

[NBDad]

See a lawyer is the best advice so far.

You need to get an order for exclusive possession of the home. As it was purchased DURING your relationship, yes he has a claim on it as with anything purchased during the relationship. He can argue that you supported him for the last 20 years, and whether or not it was "by choice" that doesn't change the fact you did in fact support him, and could be on the hook to continue to do so.

In the meantime, cut off EVERYTHING except the necessities. Freeze any joint accounts, credit cards, lines of credit, etc and get a separate bank account JUST for you. Do NOT access is online from the family computer, do NOT have a bank statement mailed. Keep the bank card in a secure location. (locked trunk of a car he has no key for, etc). Cut the cable, internet, and home phone (Get a cell and carry it with you). Get him off your car insurance if he's there, change carrier's if you need to. Get a video camera, and while is he out some afternoon, video the contents of the home in their entirety. Buy a copy of that days paper to establish the date it was taken.

Buy ONLY food he hates, or eat somewhere else. Do ONLY your own laundry, let him worry about his. If you haven't already, move into a separate bedroom and install a lock on the door. If you are sleeping in the same bed as he is, you can't claim you are separated.

After 90 days, file the form RC65 (marital status change) with the CRA and indicate you are separated. This helps to establish the date of separation.

You want to encourage him to either leave, or deal with you fairly. He won't do that as long as he's able to sit at home and do whatever he pleases all day.

Gather the paperwork for ANY assets you can find, cars, ATV's, the house, etc. and get it to a safe spot. (Safety deposit box in only your name, a friend's place, a drawer at work, etc)

[standing on the sidelines]

the changing of marital status with the government is a nightmare. We separated in dec of last year but even though our signed separation agreement has that date they would not accept it. So in the governments eyes we were separated as of july 28 this year as that was the last night he spent in the house and I changed the locks as i bought the house.

Maybe offer the guy 5 grand to go away. You will probably spend more then that on lawyers, or wait till he is away some night and change the locks and let him go to a lawyer to try and get back into the house.