Fiance broke up with me - spousal support info?

[Anne_81]

My ex-fiance and I got engaged in January 2009 and have been living together since then (he moved in with me in my home province). During our first year together, we split our living expenses (rent,food,etc). Then he got a better job in New Brunswick and I moved there to be there with him. It's safe to say that I gave up everything for him: my family/friends, my home, and a well paying job.

It was agreed from the beginning, since we were moving for his new job, he would pay to have my vehicle shipped East. We could not rely on one vehicle for both our jobs in New Brunswick. He did not follow through with paying for the shipment and I footed the bill myself with the understanding that he would pay me back (I had to put it on my credit card).

Things in New Brunswick were difficult, though I was able to get a job much like my old one, I did not get paid what I was used to and for the first time in 6 years, I was financially dependent on someone. I did not contribute as much as I would have liked to our new home (which is in his name), but that's not to say I didn't offer to pay part of the bills (utilities/phone/cable,etc) when I could, everytime he said that he understood why I couldn't pay my share and would refuse to have me pay for anything.

In October he decided he wanted us to take a break, we had been arguing a lot lately and he suggested that I go home to visit family for a few weeks (which turned into two months). He assured me that we weren't breaking up, we were just taking a breather, so I agreed. We kept in touch, talking daily and I thought things were fine.
Until he broke up with me last month.

He had the locks changed on the house, he refuses to see me and threatened to go out of town if I decided to fly back to NB to get my things. His reasoning was that he was afraid I would try to change his mind.

He agreed to pay the balance on my credit card (to reimburse me for shipping my vehicle East), pay for shipping my vehicle back to me in my home province, and to give me money to start over (enough to pay rent for two months), roughly adding up to 10K.

I'm not asking for more money and I agree the amount is generous. But now, he's going back on everything!

Is there anyone out there who can give me advice?

[logicalvelocity]

How much was it for your car to be shipped out East. Not sure, but I think that amount is far less than it will cost you to pursue your cause. Win or lose, I think I would take the current loss, and walk away rather than open a can of worms that would take most likely years to settle.

Welcome to the forum.

[blinkandimgone]

Why not sell the car there and get a new one where you are? Seems like a reasonable way to avoid the cost of shipping it altogether.

As far as your belongings, he legally can't keep them from you. If you really want them back and it's worth it to you rather than simply cutting all ties and replacing them, you can give him notice you will be coming to pick them up at a certain date and time and expect him to surrender them to you. Have a lawyer draft a letter to him if you feel it would hold more weight.

You will really need to weigh the costs of pursuing this legally as opposed to letting it go and moving on. No point in lawyering up for those issues if you will pay more in legal fees then what you would be getting out of it.

[Anne_81]

It cost about $4000 to have the vehicle shipped East and will cost about the same to have it shipped back.

I would prefer to pack my own things rather than have him do it, first because he would take his time and I want everything dealt with quickly, and second because I feel it is my right to get my belongings myself.

I'm afraid to go the legar route because I know he will go the distance on this.

[Rioe]

So why don't you fly back there, have him let you into the house to pack your things, and then drive back with your stuff in the car? Surely that would cost a lot less than $4000. He can't legally keep you out of the house if you are just going back for your personal belongings. Bring a friend with you for support and help with the drive.

You were together so briefly, and you did have an income even if you were dependent on him, so you really don't have much case for spousal support. Even if he's gone back on his 10k offer, you'd end up paying lawyers about that much to get it back. Far better to just accept the setback, get your stuff back, and leave him behind.