Division of Proprety

[Flower]

I lived with my common law spouse for 6 years, separated one year and came back in March.
He has a lot of asset and for all these years, I payed my shared with hydro, heat, food etc. Made all the cleaning, baking etc. I helped and still do for the renovation of his house that include financially and work. For him it is important to have a good quality of life. But, with everything that I have been giving all these years, I have no asset at all. He doesn't want to get married and he doesn't have a will. If something happen to him, everything is going to his family and me nothing. I asked him to make a will and his excuse is always can't afford it or he will do it.
My question is: We bough a boat in April in both our names. I am paying a bit more than half of the payment. The boat is in both our name, but he bought it with his line of credit, so I don't have the loan in my name. I am thinking of going back home next spring. Can't I get all the money I put it in it? Also we bought a king size bed this year. Can't I get the money my money back.

[Mess]

As far as the law goes, for property and assets, you are just considered room-mates. Even as room-mates, you have a right to the value of what you paid towards the house and any furniture. The bed for example, you would have to look at what it would be valued if you sold it right now, not what you paid, and then split that value. You had better have receipts or records of bank transfers in order to prove it. For the house value, it is difficult to say. You wouldn't expect to live somewhere for free but at the same time, he shouldn't expect to make a profit from you. You would look at paying half of the normal utilities and maintainence costs, if you paid a lot more than that then you could say that went to paying the mortgage, and you would have a claim to that much money back from him.

If you separated but didn't file for separation and then got back together, the Family Law Act would just see that you had been together for 7 years. After this time you would be able to ask for spousal support if you have not been working and he was supporting you. If you have been working and he earned more than twice what you earned then you MIGHT have a claim for some spousal support, but really you need to discuss this with a lawyer.

You need to look at the amoiunt of money you feel you deserve from this and think about how much it will cost you in legal fees if you need to sue him for it and decide if it would be worth it. You could also try making an offer, tell him you want to avoid lawyers, you would sign off on spousal support but you want the full value that you paid for the house, boat and bed. There are a number of possibilities, don't feel I am talking you into or out of anything.

[Flower]

HI Mess,

I have the receipts for the amount that I payed on the bed, the material that I bought to renovate his house. I have all my bank receipts that I pay for the boat until now.
It is so unfair that I payed all these years for him to have more asset (his asset are over 350,000 dollars) and now I don't have anything to my name just a couple of thousand in funiture and the boat that I will probably have to fight for my share. I am leaving with nothing and have to go in debt to get funiture. He is getting richer and me poorer. That is why I am leaving because I will be retiring one day and I will have nothing and him everything.
Thank you for your help Mess

[Mess]

It's debatable what is fair. If the two of you were bf/gf and lived in separate homes and just dated, what right do you have to his assets? None. But because you shared a home, his assets should be shared with you?

I am totally supportive that you should recover what you paid into the house and boat etc, but I think that most people would resent the idea that relationships exist so that the poorer person can enjoy the assets of the richer. If he chose to share equally with you he could have chosen to marry you, but that is a choice, not your right or entitlement.

If you want assets the idea is to work and save and invest for yourself; if you meet someone and form a family unit and share with each other then that is something else, but it is something both have to chose, it's not something you are entitled to.

I suppose it's possible that he built up $350,000 in assets over just those 6 years by enjoying your companionship but I think it's unlikely. He has been building his assets, career and income over time, which is what you should be doing.

[Flower]

Hi Mess,

When I moved in with him 7years ago. He had his house, since we are leaving togheter, he got a truck, tools, fixing the house. All of that I payed on it. I have been working all the time. Him in 7 years,he worked 2 years. Because of me helping him with the expenses, he got more assets and my assets are not growing because of me helping him. That is why I don't have any assests.
I quote: "He has been building his assets, career and income over time, which is what you should be doing."
Yes, he has been building his assets by me helping him paying what he has and I don't have enough money to build mind. Exemple: I want to buy a car and put it in my name. Well, no because the insurance for me will be high so he wants the insurance to be in his name so the car has to be in his name to have the insurance. So again, he will have one more assets to his name and me paying for it.

[dadtotheend]

Then cut bait with him on the car and pay for your own car insurance.

You could have a claim for unjust enrichment. Do a search on this forum and get some reading under your belt. It can be a tricky claim to make and will probably start a nice little argument that the lawyers will be only too happy to engage in for both of you, all the while with their hands deep into your pockets.

[Flower]

Yes I know the lawyers will be happy. Just for you to say:If he chose to share equally with you he could have chosen to marry you, but that is a choice, not your right or entitlement.

YOu are very right and he doesn't want to share with me so that is why he doesn't want to get married, but he wants me to help him and he knows that I don't have a lot of rights because we are common law and to go to court it will be very expensive for me and I don't have the money.

Well, it is time to leave and start building my assets and let him find someone else to use.

Thanks Mess

[blinkandimgone]

You have all the same rights as he does, you choose to share your money with him however he chooses not to share his with you. That doesn't mean you don't have the right to choose, it means you made your choice and he made his differently. You made the choice, you chose to put yourself in this situation which is your right to do so, but it doesn't mean you don't have the same rights as he does. You had the right to say 'no' all along and didn't excercise it - that's not his responsibility, it's yours.

[Flower]

Yes it was my responsibilities and I thought that over the years that he would want to marry me. When I went back with him in March. He said that it was time for him to settle, we have a lot in common and wanted to get married, but now it is a different story.

Time to move on

[PandaMuse]

Originally Posted by Flower

Yes it was my responsibilities and I thought that over the years that he would want to marry me. When I went back with him in March. He said that it was time for him to settle, we have a lot in common and wanted to get married, but now it is a different story.

Time to move on

Just to be clear. Because he does not want to marry you, you are entitled to everything? Have you even left him, or are you just seeing what financial gains you can receive before you leave him? Do you love him or the material things you both have acquired? Think long and hard about the decision you are about to make. Material things CAN be replaced, love cannot.