denied access no legal agreement

[jjmo]

I've been having problems with my ex denying me access. We'd been doing 50/50 parenting for the last 6 months and had been great. She recently was in contact with her lawyer whom put together an agreement where we'd have shared access but she'd have sole custody. Shortly after I informed her I wouldn't agree to it she wanted to restrict acess and gives absurd reasons on me being unfit.

I don't want the schedule to change, she's does this when she doesn't get her way and I feel bad for the kids because it confuses them and creates instability.

I'm wondering what I can do in the way of getting a temperary order in place until we either get a court date or arrange a legal agreement.

I'm looking to do this without going to a lawyer, I can't afford it, she's on legal aid and of course I make too much money and don't qualify, despite the large portion that goes to her.

I've had a motion pass for temp custody once when she checked into a mental crisis center, I don't mind doing the work and research if I can be pointed in the right direction.

Thanks!

[HammerDad]

You can do some of this yourself. I would also use the Family Law Information Centres throughout Ontario to help with the forms.

But personally, I would start with offering to mediate. Jumping straight to court is never the best solution. If mediation fails, you can resort to court.

In the mean time, should she try to deny access you email her (only communicate via email and text - if you can print off the texts) advising her that you don't agree with her unilateral decision to change the established parenting arrangement. That you've each been abiding by the parenting schedule where you share custody for X months, and her decision to refuse to continue with the schedule is unreasonable. That it is in the best interests of the children to continue with the existing schedule and that there is no reasonable reason for her to deny you your parenting time.

Also, without a parenting agreement in place or court order, there is nothing stopping you from taking your kids. You have defacto shared parenting with joint custody. Ensure you don't give up on this. There is nothing preventing you from showing up at school and taking the kids. However, I wouldn't do that if it wasn't your scheduled time.

Also, should she deny you parenting time, in your email to her request make up time at the earliest possible time.

But yeah, fight for your kids. Start with mediation and go from there. You have status quo on your side that for the past 6 months it was shared parenting with joint custody. You will except nothing less than status quo as that is what is in the children's best interests.

Should she try to say you can't have the kids, show up when school is released and pick them up yourself. There is nothing anyone can do (school wise) to stop you.

But be sure YOU DO NOT GET IN A CONFRONTATION WITH YOUR EX. Carry a digital voice recorder on you at all times in her presense. Should your ex become aggressive or confrontational, advise her you don't agree with her hostility and are therefore no longer going to entertain a conversation and leave. Don't ever grab her or the kids. Be business like. It is a business transaction now, keep emotion out of it.

[Mess]

I just want to emphasize certain points Hammerdad already said.

You must write her, emails are good because you can show date, time, recipient, etc, and in a polite and professional way state that she has made the unilateral decision to deny your regular access.

There must never be any doubt about whether you consented in any way, or allowed the situation to continue without saying anything.

Without a court order or signed agreement stating otherwise, the two of you have joint custody. She does not have unilateral decision making power.

Make at least an offer to mediate so that you come across as the reasonable party. Again, do this by email.

You don't say how old your child(ren) is but frankly I would inform her that I was picking the child up from school/daycare for my regular time. Don't rely on her to turn the child over to you, and even at the best of times try have neutral exchanges, like one parent drops the child off at school and the other parent picks up.