common law- house- kids

[ele110]

We have been comon law for 10 years, have kids and a house in both names. Now he wants to separate and split the asstes (house) by either me buying him out or by selling the house. I do not have the money to buy him out. Can he force me to sell the house? Do I have a right to not sell the house as it is the residence of my children and I? Also, he is asking for shared custody (partly so he does not have to pay!), but I would prefer to be the primary parent.

[blinkandimgone]

Why do you 'prefer' to be the primary parent? Is there some reason why the children shouldn't have equal time with him?

[ele110]

Hello, I would prefer this as I have always been the parent, dealing with homework, medical stuff, hygiene, routine, discipline, school contact, putting them to bed etc.... etc...I fear it would be unsettling for the kids 's routine to be going back and forth between homes. I have a very stable job, with stable hours and have always been the one home when the kids come home after school. Not dad, he travels a bit, has a bit or irregular hours etc....
Also, one child is 6, and very attached to me. This little one would definitely have trouble noseparating from mom. . The others, older (13 and 15) have a preference to staying with me and having one primary home.
he says that he will adjust his life in order to deal with the kids half time, but frankly, i am not sure about it, as he has not done that.
Oops, by the way, I made a mistake, we have been common law for 16 years, not 10.
Otherwise, I see no reason why he would not have the kids.

[Mess]

Originally Posted by ele110

Now he wants to separate and split the asstes (house) by either me buying him out or by selling the house. I do not have the money to buy him out. Can he force me to sell the house? Do I have a right to not sell the house as it is the residence of my children and I?

At the moment it is his residence and legal property as well as yours. If you keep the house, you pay him for his share. How is that hard to understand? If he kept the house he would pay you for yours. It has to go one way or the other. Why would it not?

Also, he is asking for shared custody (partly so he does not have to pay!), but I would prefer to be the primary parent.

If there is shared custody, he will pay for more than double his housing, utilities, he will cover half of the groceries for the kids, clothes, transportation, activities, recreation and entertainment. He will pay for any necessary child care while they are with him, and have to cover days when they are sick. Overall it will cost him more to keep the kids 50/50 than it would to park them on a fold-out couch in the living room every other weekend and pay you support. If he has split custody with you he will support the kids directly. Is the reason you don't want shared custody because you want him to pay you? Are your reasons just financial? Do you think that if custody is 50/50 there will be less money coming in for you? Is it impossible that now that he risks losing his family, maybe he wants to take care of his kids more and spend more direct time with them, rather than losing them altogether? Is it possible that with you out of his life he will have more time and emotion and desire to be with his kids?

[standing on the sidelines]

Originally Posted by ele110

We have been comon law for 10 years, have kids and a house in both names. Now he wants to separate and split the asstes (house) by either me buying him out or by selling the house. I do not have the money to buy him out. Can he force me to sell the house? Do I have a right to not sell the house as it is the residence of my children and I? Also, he is asking for shared custody (partly so he does not have to pay!), but I would prefer to be the primary parent.

If you want the house then you have to buy him out. He also has rights like getting his equity out of the house so he can buy another one.

Why is is as soon as a father asks for shared custody it is automatically so he doesn't have to pay?? Maybe he wants to be with his kids. Sure when you were together he maybe worked strange hours etc but he knew you were there to look after them. Now he wants to have shared custody so he knows he has to make some changes for his kids. No where in your post does it say he was abusive to them or any other thing that makes it seem like he is a bad parent.