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Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:31 PM
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Trinton you really need to stop letting your bias from your divorce colour your comments. Get a grip and remember this guy has an obligation under THE LAW to pay CS. He is being disciplined by his company for sending an inappropriate email to his ex. His employment situation is not his kids fault and he still has an obligation to THEM.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Perhaps he's frustrated with the situation and is under a great amount of stress. Why not give him some breathing room and time as opposed to harassing him for child support the second he loses his job? Show some empathy people. You have any idea how devastating it can be to a person to lose your job or your home? And on top of that having your ex stinging your feet? It's crazy what people do to each other for money. He doesn't have a job he can't give you his hard earned money any more. Go learn a thing or two about independence. Grow up. You child is not going to suffer by not having child support for a couple months.
That makes sense. When I'm "frustrated and under stress", I usually respond by not dealing with any of my responsibilities. I stop paying my mortgage or any other bills, stop going to work or making dinner for my kid because I'm UNDER STRESS and other people just have to accommodate me.

/sarcasm off

Most grown-up people would be trying to make arrangement for covering their CS responsibilities in this situation, like working out a payment plan. Mom isn't "harassing" Dad for CS, it's something he's obligated to pay.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 01-11-2017, 04:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Sounds like he's going through a hard time. Getting the collection agency after him to garnish his unemployment doesn't sound like an overly human thing to do. What, he's expected to live in the streets?



What is his side of the story? There is always 2 sides to every story. Sometimes 3, 3rd one being the truth.


Not sure I ever said mom was getting a collection agency after Dad. The question was does dad owe CS for Jan when he is laid off or not?

I know you're attempting to start banter back and forth but it's not working. If you want to find him you can ask his side of the story but it's not going to be much different. His income is over $100k annually, he has been laid off every year during the holidays and at this point hasn't been called back. So you can keep thinking he has a different story but he has what almost every dad fights for. Except he not once had to fight for 50-50 parenting, although he did fight against having to pay CS until he did some research himself and realized that mom asking for offset was not out of the ordinary.


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Old 01-11-2017, 04:45 PM
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The answer to your question is yes he owes child support. Unless he has filed for a new order or he and mom have agreed to a different amount, he owes his child support.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trinton View Post
Perhaps he's frustrated with the situation and is under a great amount of stress. Why not give him some breathing room and time as opposed to harassing him for child support the second he loses his job? Show some empathy people. You have any idea how devastating it can be to a person to lose your job or your home? And on top of that having your ex stinging your feet? It's crazy what people do to each other for money. He doesn't have a job he can't give you his hard earned money any more. Go learn a thing or two about independence. Grow up. You child is not going to suffer by not having child support for a couple months.
Perhaps he should have budgeted better as CS is an obligation, just like rent/mortgage or car insurance. This annual layoff is a regular occurrence, granted lasting a little longer this year than prior years.

I lost my home and my husband last year so I do have a pretty good idea how devastating major losses can be. However, I still had to meet all of my obligations both during his long illness with only my income and after his death with everything that brought on. I certainly have empathy for difficult situations having been in them myself, but I can see no valid reason for him to not pay CS until there is firm proof that he actually will no longer be employed by that company. And then he needs to take appropriate steps.

This does not appear to be about a "greedy" mom trying to harass a "poor downtrodden hardworking father" Trinton. Not all situations are like that.
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Old 01-11-2017, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Berner_Faith View Post
I would tend to disagree Janus... if mom cannot pay rent or utilities or daycare because dad isn't contributing how do you see that to be in the best interest of the children?
At the risk of sounding like a broken record... this is a shared parenting situation so there are two households of concern.

Household M: Mom's household
Household D: Dad's household

If Dad just lost his job, then the aggregate sum of money available to both households is substantially less. At least one household is going to lose money.

Current plan by Mom is that her CS payments should stay the same, so the entire loss should be visited upon household D. One could argue that this is unfair, but clearly Mom doesn't really care about being fair in this case, so I'll drop that line of argument.

My other argument is that making household D absorb the entire loss is unfair to the children, since their standard of living will drop in one house and not the other, and the entire point of CS in shared parenting is to maintain a similar standard of living between the households.

You can argue that Dad was responsible for the loss of income. I would point out that this is complete conjecture by the mother, and it still doesn't address the main argument which is that taking the money only from one household hurts the children. I put that in bold because it seems that while we care about mom here, we are forgetting about the kiddies. Even if Dad hit his boss in the face, it doesn't help the kids to take CS from him. It just hurts the children.

Let us assume that he is getting EI. EI does not replace anything close to 100% of earnings, especially for somebody making $100k. So, even if he is getting money from EI, going FRO on his ass is just going to hurt household D substantially, which yet again hurts the children.

Dad didn't offer to babysit. He's an idiot. You want to punish him. Is the plan to punish him by hurting him financially? Sure that hurts him, but it also hurts the children.

You can dress it up and justify it however you want. Dad's household is almost certainly suffering. Legally, you can beat the crap out of him in court. However, if Mom does that, then she is the stereotypical parent who hates her ex more than she loves her kids.

I won't support that, and frankly Berner, I'm surprised to see you supporting this as well. I usually see you as the voice of good and reason, and it is a bit jarring to see you on this particular case supporting the side of narcissistic greed.
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Old 01-11-2017, 05:51 PM
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Janus I think you are not reading my posts correctly. Mom has not be badgering Dad. She just wanted to know if dad got back to work in the next few weeks is CS still payable for January. Obviously if this becomes a long term unemployment thing for Dad CS will be readjusted. Mom simply asked Dad to communicate with her. Yet he refuses to do so. I have in fact told my family member that you can't get blood from a stone and waiting until he is back to work and then seeing where his head is at is her best course of action.

I would argue Dad is being greedy by not communicating with Mom and not paying for his children, even just day care. Or taking his children so mom didn't have to pay for daycare. Mom doesn't mind waiting and working with Dad but shouldn't Dad be working with mom as well?

Mom doesn't want to go to court and doesn't want to involve FRO she just wants Dad to communicate and cooperate.

Not that it means anything but Dad has a new partner (that he left mom for) and she works at a very decent company. Do when I say I don't believe his household is suffering I really don't believe it is. Not that new gf is expected to pay dads CS but Dad needs to start communicating and stop skirting his responsibilities.


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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 01-11-2017, 10:02 PM
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Registering with a maintenance enforcement agency alleviates the need to send/receive emails about money owing. If the father is legitimately going through a hard time he can cry to FRO and make an arrangement with him. This way he doesn't have to deal with his ex. It is really very simple. I wonder about people who have the opportunity to register with a maintenance enforcement agency (it's free) but prefer to bitch and complain about not receiving any money.

IF the father is child-like and unwilling to live up to his legal and moral obligations then FRO is definitely the way to go IMO. Perhaps the reality of losing a drivers license will motivate him into paying his bills in a timely manner?

If I wasn't registered with MEP Alberta I wouldn't have seen a dime from my ex.
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Old 02-22-2017, 02:44 PM
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So wanted to provide an update on this...

Dad still isn't back to work but has told mom he is working somewhere but won't disclose where. Mom thinks it's under the table from what she has heard from others. Dad also told mom he wants to start his own property management business, but nothing has happened. He isn't paying any child support, has started paying half of daycare but that's it. No extras for the kids.

Mom wanted to give him time to find a job but now it seems like he is enjoying working under the table. How can someone go from making over $100k a year for the past years to working under the table. How would a court see this?

They have a written parenting agreement and Mom would like to file with the court. Would this mean Dad has to be served or if there is a written and signed agreement can it just be filled with the court?

Dad hasn't taken the children any extra time to even save on daycare which adds to the suspicion of under the table employment.

Dad obviously has money as he has gone on two skiing trips and is now doing renos on his house. None of Moms business I get that, but if he can't financially afford to support his children how is he affording this?


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