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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Divorce & Family Law > Common Law Issues

Common Law Issues The law regarding common law relationships is different than in cases of divorce. Discuss the issues that affect unmarried couples here.

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Old 03-06-2016, 04:45 PM
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Default Anyone else gone through this delay? It should have been over by now.

Just to give an overview of the story.

My spouse was common law with his ex for 6 and a half years ...from 2006 to early 2013 and have one child who is now 8. my spouse is 37 now and she is now 48.

She didn't work but worked during their relationship at a few admin jobs. She was let go a few times so stayed home and helped spouse with side home business.

She would drive my spouse to and from work everyday because at the time he didn't have his license. She stayed home with the child and worked from home.

She also began screwing around on him and meeting guys on plenty of fish. One of which was my ex husband lol.

she and my ex husband set him and I up to go golfing one day. She would hang out with my ex at my house with my kids with her son.

I ended up telling her spouse which is now my spouse about the affair. She hates me now for telling him. She told me to lie about how I knew her lol. I couldn't help but tell him the truth. He deserved to know. Now we have been dating for almost 3 years since then.

My spouse left her soon after he found out about her affair as she was making his life miserable.

My spouse paid the mortgage..truck payment property taxes. He paid this from July to December 2013. About 3 k per month

She took him to court in Nov 2013. Using legal aid of course. He couldnt afford a lawyer. Judge told her to sell the house but didn't award more support. spouse kept paying mortgage as he was asked to.

Feb 2014. He went back to court self represented and asked to pay support instead. he had kept paying the mortgage and had stopped paying the truck. She wouldn't take over the truck herself. The bank took the truck as he couldn't afford it anymore. Judge told him to pay mortgage till April 2014 and she was to sign it over.

She was to sign house to herself in April and he was to start paying support of 1546 per month ..1000 spousal and 546 child.

Keep in mind she withheld my spouse access to child the whole time.

April 2014 came around and my spouse gets a call from her lawyer saying my spouse first needs to give her a clean slate and catch up on house bills. No proof of amount was given by her except an excel spreadsheet showing about 5000 owing. Nothing came of that. Judge wanted to see my spouse if not paid in April 2014 but didn't follow through.

She never signed the house over so my spouse kept paying mortgage and prop taxes over 2000 per month to about Sept 2014.

In Sept 2014 he claimed bankruptcy as he didn't want the responsibility of the house as she wasn't going to sign in over to herself and began paying the support of 1546. He was in financial hardship.

In December 2014 fro sent a letter stating he owed 10546 in arrears for support. Keep in mind my spouse has been paying over and above this amount in house payments. We are hoping to have this cancelled as it would be double dipping.

Fro didn't garnish arrears as he was already paying and seemed to leave arrears alone for time being.

Spouse went to court in Jan 2015 to get access and was granted 1 and a half hours supervised every 2 weeks until a settlement conference. She also agreed in her affidavit to the court it be held at the house for the 1st visit or 2 then the access would grow.

Spouse couldn't afford a lawyer and put off settlement conference. She kept supervised access going even though spouse would ask to increase it.

Spouse got a lawyer in April 2015 finally.

His lawyer asked her legal aid lawyer for access and settlement or mediation as his had been going on too long. Guess what no response.

She sent email in summer saying stop asking child to go with him during supervised visits as she has to punish him by saying no and that access is to be very gradual.

Since that email she now claims her son is just not comfortable with leaving the house with his dad. My spouse has asked him why he's not comfortable and the child says I don't know.

No response from her legal aid lawyer for 4 months to move things forward. We fired his lawyer and got another in Sept 2015.

Our lawyer tried to book mediation. Her lawyer agreed but couldn't get ahold of her. She claimed she was going to school when her lawyer got a response and couldn't go to court until march 2nd 2016 for the settlement conference.

She tried to adjourn settlement conference as her school would dock marks. the judge had ordered her to attend. On March 2nd she failed to show claiming school was too important.

She also asked her lawyer to put forth the child needs psychological assessment. Judge found story about her school unbelievable. Judge tried to schedule for 2 weeks but our lawyer was reasonable and said may is ok. Judge said he wants to be in attendance for settlement conference which is to be after her course in may.

Access motion was booked for March 22 2016 as she failed to respond to this. Her legal aid lawyer requested this be moved as she has school. Judge said she doesn't need to be there for the motion. Ex spouse is taking social work program year 1. In my opinion my spouse shouldn't pay for a change in career. She should be working and taking classes at night like normal people do.

a trial is booked for September 2016 by the judge. He also ordered her to attend settlement conference in may. I hope they see she is just delaying for the money advantage and force her to settle or mediate.

My spouse just wants to have his son every second weekend as I have 3 kids about his age. She knows this. He also expects that she should be self supporting by now.

He is walking away from the house. He figures he has over paid about 20 thousand over what he would have paid if he paid only spousal support of 1000.

I just hope legal aid reviews this behaviour and doesn't fund her going to a trial for her refusing to do anything. She shouldn't be able to take advantage of a free lawyer like this.

She will have nothing to prove for a trial except her acting completely unreasonable. And if we get costs awarded she will never pay it because she doesn't work.
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Fingers crossed it is settled before September 2016 or we will go to trial.

I forgot to mention she does not live at the house. She lives a few streets over with her boyfriend. She only uses the house to bring the child for supervised access. She also drives a Honda Ridgeline . It's really unsettling and I'm glad the courts are starting to catch on...hopefully they put a stop to her non sense at the settlement conference in may.

Anyone else gone through this delay? It should have been over by now.

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Old 03-06-2016, 05:07 PM
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Grass isn't always greener on the other side is it?

In one paragraph you stated you're "dating" yet through the whole post you refer to him as your "spouse." You have 3 children - are these with your ex or with your current boyfriend/spouse?

You say "we" have retained a lawyer. Presumably this is your former friend's STBX husband/your current boyfriend/spouse and you have retained a lawyer? Are you a party to the divorce (named on the divorce documents?)

Are you receiving child support from your ex or is your current boyfriend/spouse/former husband of your friend supporting you?

Don't quite understand your question. Is there particular relevance in what vehicle your current boyfriend/spouse/former husband of your friend drives?

Last edited by arabian; 03-06-2016 at 05:10 PM.
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Old 03-06-2016, 05:16 PM
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The story is about my current spouses ex common law partner and the problems he is facing in this situation . The 3 children are mine from my previous marriage.

His ex common law spouse is driving a Honda Ridgeline and we assume it was provided by her new boyfriend. She is either working or being taken care of by someone else. She lives with him and uses her house so it looks like she's on her own and for supervised access by my spouse who is her ex for visits to their son.

We have retained a lawyer to take her and her legal aid lawyer to court but have only faced delays and delays and denial of unsupervised access. It's ridiculous what good dad's go through.

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Old 03-06-2016, 05:20 PM
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And not to mention that because of her constant delays and refusal of access my spouse has not been put of the house with his child since they separated.

She's also using the system to get as much support money as she can when she should he working. I'm amazed that people can get away with this. I'm hoping she will.be cornered soon as she can't do this forever.

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Old 03-06-2016, 05:46 PM
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What sort of vehicle are you driving? who pays for it?

So she's being taken care of by someone else and you're being taken care of by her ex-husband.

Sounds like a draw.
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Old 03-06-2016, 05:52 PM
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My ex husband is out of the.picture. my current spouses ex and her ex went their separate ways about 2 months after they got together. I am still with her ex. He cannot take care of our family fully as he has to pay so much to take care of her. It's frustrating because she should not be untitled to unlimited support and she should not be able to deny access. She is constantly delaying court and denying access. I am just wondering if anyone else has gone through and am wondering if the courts eventually crack done on this behaviour. If her support was withdrawn she'd become self supporting in a hurry lol. Hopefully it is over this year with a trial scheduled.

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Old 03-06-2016, 05:52 PM
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I meant my ex husband and my current spouses ex went their separate ways a long time ago.

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Old 03-06-2016, 06:01 PM
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Do you have a specific question or concern?

I found your story very hard to follow. You're living with your ex-husband's new girlfriend's ex-common law partner? Your boyfriend is allowed only supervised access to his child and didn't pay child support for a year and a half because he thought all he had to do was pay the mortgage? And now he's filing for bankruptcy to avoid responsibility for the home he owns with his ex? And his ex (who is now your husband's girlfriend, or maybe there's a different boyfriend involved here?) drives a big truck, and you think she shouldn't have gone back to school?

I'm not sure what you're looking for advice about. I do have some suggestions:

1. Don't use your real name on Internet forums.
2. Let your boyfriend handle his own divorce. Unless you are named on the legal documents, it is not your business.
3. Child support and access are not linked. Your boyfriend must pay the full amount of child support whether or not he sees the child. These are two separate issues.
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Old 03-06-2016, 06:12 PM
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I'm not handling the divorce lol. Just looking to see if anyone else has experienced many delays.
He is currently paying and has all along. for a period of time he was paying majority of her household expenses instead of support as she never signed over the house.
He went bankrupt from mounting debt and not being able to pay off loans and she didn't work and won't work.

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Old 03-06-2016, 06:13 PM
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And our story is confusing. It's not a common occurrence.

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