[logicalvelocity]

ifeelduped,

as you mentioned

1. What about the 230k equity I used to invest from my first home (where I had sole title) into the new home with joint title? Should this equity I invested not be mine alone?

Perhaps. You would need to have a paper trail to prove this claim and only then your only at the mercy of the court. Reason being it appears you have a situation on your hands where by you may have a "trust law case" scenario. The reason I say that is at law your both are co-owners of the property and absent without some type of contract that provides otherwise, you may have to share the equity of the home equally.

2. What about the fact that she had a child without my consent when we were apart? Does my suspicion that she got pregnant on purpose as a means of trapping me, mean anything?

You would have a difficult time to prove your suspicions as it is heresay. Women become pregnant all the time either planned or by accident. What is important that a child was born as a result of the relationship and as such, Both parent's have an obligation under the law to support this child.

3. Does the fact that we only "live" together 6-7 days a month due to my weekday travel have any bearing on our status? How about the fact that we do not sleep together? What constitutes a real relationship?

Each parties principal residence is the home. Your requirement for travelling is work related. I suspect the court would see you as common-law for spousal support purposes.

4. If I have no choice but to provide her some "winfall" in the form of my home equity, and support etc., can I agree to a single lump some amount with her and be done with it? I would like to have a single payment that would take everything into consideration (home equity, child support, spousal support, etc.) and never have to deal with her again financially.

Yes, you could make an offer by way of engaging in a separation agreement, the law provides for same. However, when it comes to child support, which is the right of the child, the reasonable stance is periodic table guideline amount based on ones income plus section 7 guidelines extra ordinary expenses shared prorated to reflect each parent's respective income.
Be aware, the neither parent has no right to bargain away the rights of the child. Any clause for lump sum child support in a separation agreement could easily be set aside by a court in future litigation.

Periodic spousal support amounts to the terms of a separation agreement or court order has an tax advantage, where as lump sum spousal support is not tax deductible. A general rule of thumb is that spousal support is to come from income rather than capital.

5. If this went to court would a judge take anytime to examine the circumstances to assess whether her purposeful pregnancy when we were apart, was her attempt to trap me into a relationship and long-term financial support? I got a vasectomy a few months after she got pregnant since I was so freaked out by what had happened. Also, would the judge care that I told her many times that I did not want anymore children?

You would have to prove your suspicions, and attempting to do so, you could spend thousands trying to prove same, The bottom line is that there is a child, your child that requires your support. Have you considered a DNA test to prove otherwise? DNA testing costs about 700 to 800 nowadays and is 99.9% accurate. If DNA determined the child was not yours, your ex may have some explaining to do and it gives your claim a little more weight.

6. Finally, I had a difficult separation from my marriage when I was young and was always nervous about a repeat performance and its impact on me financially again. Whenever I discussed this with my current partner, she insisted she was not like that and stated "I do not want your money" and "I never wanted your money". In a court of law under oath if she admitted saying this, does it have any bearing on spousal support or division of property?

Without a cohabitation agreement in place, is that it boils down to your word against hers. If a court cannot believe either, often a trial is held to determine credibility of each party.

lv