Thread: Abused
View Single Post
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 05-24-2006, 06:39 PM
Jeff's Avatar
Jeff Jeff is offline
Administrator
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Buried in paperwork
Posts: 584
Jeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud ofJeff has much to be proud of
Default

Thanks for the wonderful post Grace! I'm sure that wasn't easy to write.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grace
MYTH: The abuser/offender is not a loving partner.

FACT: There is a cycle of violence in abusive relationships, with five phases ~ build-up phase, stand-over phase, remorse phase, pursuit/buy-back phase, and honeymoon phase. During the "buy back" and "honeymoon phases" of this cycle the offender can be a loving and attentive partner. Many violent men are described by their partner as Jekyll and Hyde characters capable of being charming and caring but also capable of violence and abuse.
Perhaps you could go into this in more detail. I really only know about 3 phases:

1. Tension building phase. During this phase, basically the abuser wears down the victim - through intimidation and denigration. E.g. call the victim names and demean the victim, make threats to kill, swear, yell, smash objects, pound fist, etc.

2. Acute batting phase. During this phase, the actual physical violence occurs.

3. Caring / loving phase. During this phase, apologies, flowers, promises to reform, etc.
__________________
Ottawa Divorce
Reply With Quote