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Old 05-09-2006, 09:48 AM
Mikesgal Mikesgal is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ontario
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Default Difficult situation please advise

Hi, I have reading some posts and can identify with alot of them..I feel for so many of the dads on this site because so many of the moms have taken them by the necks and literally strangled the life out of them...I have been married 3 times and have never once taken the men in my past lives for anything at all, in fact I have left them all better off than when I met them...this is just me and I am sure that there are plenty of woman who have treated their ex's fairly as well..so with that said let me tell you what my husband is dealing with now..he has been married 2 times before..1 son from 1st marriage and 1 son from 2nd plus a step daughter that he has been paying child support for since she was 4--she is now 19 and going off to college..the first wife has been getting child support for their son and it has been no problem at all, that is until the son moved 4 hours away to live with the maternal grandparents last June-he can't stand his mom and all his friends are way up north...support payments were $625.00/month and the ex was sending only $200.00/month to her parents for the son..she was using the $425.00 to pay her own debts (mainly gambling debts she incurred)..we found out that the son got suspended from school because he was skipping and he had taken up with this girl who is 10 years older than him with 3 kids..they had come back to this area to live therefore my husband put a stop payment on the remainder cheques and figured that since no school no support money. No money has gone unpaid except $225.00---April cheque was given to the mother and she cashed and gave to the son to help him get started...then son breaks up with older woman, moves back to grandparents place and grandmother talks to school and gets him back into the school on conditions that he never skips again....so husband decides to send up $400.00 of the $625.00 to grandparents instead of sending it to the ex wife and feels that she should be paying the rest $225.00 towards her sons support. Yesterday we got a letter from her lawyer wanting a copy of his 2004-05 T4 and pending a review of his financial disclosure he is to send the $625.00 to the grandparents until it can be reviewed..it said in the event a court application is required to resolve this issue the ex will be seeking a retroactive adjustment to child support.....this is so stupid...she feels that she can't afford to support her son and needs the money to pay for her house and that we should pay the total amount..she is in the process of selling her house and moving in with her boyfriend, she has a very good job and so does her boyfriend...my husband has a very good job too but he has to pay support for 2 other kids as well each month and I just lost my job after 20 years... are standard of life is living in an apartment..we really don't know where this will all lead, but feel that she should have to support her son as well and if it does go to court wouldn't the judge see that he is supporting his other family and now me without a job???? sorry for the long winded version but I felt someone might be able to shed some sort of light on this dark situation....oh yeah the grandmother told us that she gives the boy $100.00/week spending money...he smokes and drinks so this is what he is using the money on which we do not condone in the least....