Some excellent points of view on spousal support. This topic can befuddle even a judge because spousal support flies in the face of the 'clean break' that most people would want after a divorce has occurred. A payer wants his/her (but mostly his) clean break whereas a recipient is often placed in a position of having to justify the value of their contribution as a stay-at-home parent. Really, how to you place a price tag on being a stay-at-home parent - what's it worth to a family, a community and our culture in general?
I would argue that there are some things you can't put a price tag on because having a parent at home is so much more than simply "having a parent at home" - and here's my reasoning: at the ripe old age of "pert near 40" I have to say that I believe my generation is among the last generation who had mom at home they were growing up. It didn't dawn on me just how privileged I was to have mom at home until I grew up. (Not meant to be a slight against men here, I am drawing from my own experiences - dad's who stay home are just as important as mom's who stay home.)
In those days, being a home maker was still considered honorable I believe. Nowadays women are told there is something wrong with them if they aren't out in the rat race breaking the glass ceiling. So how do you place a monetary value on something that was so much more than cleaning house, preparing meals and watching the kids? Moreover, why does today's culture tend to look down on primarily women who stay home with the kids?
Again, I turn everyone's attention to the current debate in Ottawa about the Conservative goverment's child care plan. The value of stay-at-home parents is, in my view, being ignored by mainstream media and in it's place is a debate over whether the government should be bankrolling day care spaces versus creating incentives for parents to stay at home.
I said it before in a previous thread and will say it again now: it must suck to be a woman these days - you're not good enough if you are at home raising the kids, you're not good enough if you work part time and have the kids in a day care part time and you're not good enough if you work full-time and have the kids in full time daycare. What surprises me most is that it is women telling other women that they're not good enough.
Perhaps if we understood the value of stay-at-home parents better we might be able to solve the riddle of spousal support.
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