GDGM - you know until you mentioned it I'd never really give it much thought. I've known a few people going through divorce but they never much talked about it. I know when I was stuck in the middle of mine (which is now coming to a close after 7 years) I never talked much about it except for the occasional time when family asked about any progress. But inside I was a basket case always waiting for something bad to happen...
I think it would be good to reach out to others you might know going through something similar..even just to direct them to a site like this and let them know they are not alone would do many a world of good.
As for your ex, you could try to write a letter but its been my experience that people will only listen when they are ready to hear. I think the best thing you could do is just model the behaviour you would like to see. They say the best revenge is living well and I truly believe that..not that you need to seek revenge..lol. Your son needs to know that there is someone out there is loves him unconditionally and wil always be there, regardless of distance of time spent apart. I know in my personal situation when I decided that I would not stoop to his level, I would not sling mud and play games he finally tired of it and wised up that it only has to be as difficult as we make it.
From some of you other posts I've read it seems that your ex is a very bitter person at this point in time, and I'm sad to say there isn't much you can do about it. You could try to make her understand that although you two were not very good husband and wife for one another that really has nothing to do with being a parent now. In my case I had a lot of people advise me to withold visitation when he defaulted on support and they advised me many times to take him to court for support issues, but I tried to make them understand that although it is his obligation to pay support it is the childrens 'right' to see their dad..and he is not paying for the privlidge to see his kids.
It takes time to come to terms with the hurt and often feelings of betrayal, but they can be overcome. Good luck to you!
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