Sory, but everything is not black and white and every situation is different. I would say I am the primary caregiver, now and during my so called marriage. Someone who constantly spends their time in the basement, alone, drinking and watching tv, only coming upstairs to eat, crap and sleep, and saying hi to his baby durring commercials is NOT a primary caregiver. Also with regards to the so called effects on children who do not have their fathers active in their lives, is not always the case either. My daughter from a previous relationship was raised solely by me for her first 5 years, and maybe saw him every 3rd weekend for 3 years and now only about 1x per month and she is a very well adjusted teen, happy, loving, excellent grades, respectful, pleasant, outgoing and has an excellent well mannered friends.
Also, a spouse who mentally, verbally and emotionally abuses his wife is not in the best interests of the child, my mental health is in my childs best interest and constantly being harrassed by him is not helping me to be the best parent to my child. Someone calls you and yells at you because your child has a fever of 38.9 and visitation is cancelled and threatens you and you call the police. How is this behaviour, which is not just between me and him, in the best interests of the child? Who is protecting the abused spouse?? CAS (who has been involved) now looks at spousal abuse in thier cases, so that would mean that spousal abuse/domestic violence is not in the best interests of the child and can harm the child emotionally. If the abusive parent cant keep thier mouth shut and behave, then they should not have 50/50 custody, they are not concened about the effects of thier behaviour on the parent of their child and the effects of this behaviour on their child. A stressed out parent is not good.
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