Thread: denying access?
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Old 07-23-2010, 10:54 AM
HammerDad HammerDad is offline
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Originally Posted by LostFather View Post
Okay, I stand by my 1st post. You say 2.5 hrs each way. Then say how you would have to drive 5 hours. If you read my 1st post you would see and also other posters have eluded to as well is that each parent is responsible for the transport when taking into children into their care.

So you would be responsible for your 2.5 hrs, then he is! Since you do not have an agreement, what has been the status quo?
I don't agree with this.

Yes, generally the parent responsible for taking care of the child for their parenting time would be responsible for pickups. However, Dad has choosen to leave the city and go to the cottage 2.5 hours away (thus a 5 hour round trip for mom), which I doubt is what would normally occur for access exchanges. Exchanges where each parent lives in the same town are generally at the other parents house or school.

The only important questions are:

1. Where have you normally done exchanges in the past?

- if you have normally done them at each others house or a neutral location local to each of you, that should be continued.

2. When are the children supposed to be returned to you?

- you made it sound like the children will be returned very late in the day (like after 8pm). When do you expect them home? generally access on Sunday ends after dinner time. So he should have at least until 6pm to return the kids. So even if SIL is lazy and doesn't roll outta bed until noon, that gives her 6 hours to get ready and make a 2.5 hour trip.

It would be unreasonable to cause mom to make a 5 hour round trip to pick up the children due to dad's decision to remain up at the cottage. If he wants spend time up there, he can either a) drive them down for the normal exchange and return afterwards or b) arrange for someone else to drop them off (which he has). It would be no different then a parent temporarily moving, which each of us responding have said on this site, the person doing the move would be responsible for doing the transportation.

As for the SIL, I really doubt you know all that goes on in her life and how responsible she may be. You have jaded views and expect the worst because of those views.

And yes, it is at worst inconsideratie to ask you to do the travelling. But it is not a denial of access as he has provided alternatives for return transportation (you just choose to look at the alternative in the worst possible fashion).