Thread: denying access?
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Old 07-23-2010, 09:34 AM
LostFather LostFather is offline
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Originally Posted by gumby View Post
Sorry, I did not make this clear enough.
Both cottages are 2.5 hours away from the children's home. The cottages are 20 minutes apart, not my house and his cottage. What he wants me to do is make a round trip of 5 hours to get them if I am not visiting my mother that weekend (which i will not be). i have pointed out to him that this is unfair but he refuses to even meet me halfway.
My SIL will not be "on the road" anytime she does not feel like it. She is retired and has not woken up before noon for many years and certainly will not do it to accommodate me. He will not even ask her to do that and I am am not even sure she is coming back to town that day. Besides, they are his children, not hers so it is his responsibility.
Basically he is saying wait to see your children until somebody comes back to town sometime, or drive for 5 hours. I think most people would see this as unreasonable at best, at worst a form of denial of access. I would not dream of asking him to do the same.
We do not have an agreement in place which is why I am going to court, not to deal with this specific situation. I know with him to avoid it happening again he will have to be made to financially compensate me for gas/time.
Thanks for your responses but I hope this makes it a little clearer.
Okay, I stand by my 1st post. You say 2.5 hrs each way. Then say how you would have to drive 5 hours. If you read my 1st post you would see and also other posters have eluded to as well is that each parent is responsible for the transport when taking into children into their care.

So you would be responsible for your 2.5 hrs, then he is! Since you do not have an agreement, what has been the status quo? Sounds like the cottage for the summer is the norm and the children like that, so it's what's in the best interest of the children? Right?

I think for this one time that you've decided not to go to your mom's cottage that is 20 min apart, and since there is no agreement, I think you need to pick up your children, then he can pick them up when your time with them is over. There is also the option of his sister to bring them down, just make sure you voice your time concerns. But if by some chance they don't get home until 10pm at night then just tack the time on the other end of your access, let your ex know that is when he can pick them up.

If you want to know about denied access then I can tell you about a few of my experiences, or just read on this site, it will not take you long to see that what you're describing is not denied access.

I wouldn't make too big of a deal out of this, things can get a lot worse, I do not know you're situation, and not to make light of your concerns but really there are bigger fish to fry, your children like it up there, and they're having fun, not just with you, and it hurts, I know. They'll be better for it, especially of mom and dad are not fighting. If you're up there a lot then the times that this situation will occur will be considered an anomaly.

Anyway just my thoughts, good luck.